POEMS: Wowie Howie!, The Saga of Legal Eagle Kleagle Segal’s Beagle and The Pseudo Sea Gull, and Off Color

June 7, 2012 · Scotorum

These were written for the CPC Friday Fling poetry challenge. Tongue-twisters is the topic!

OFF COLOR

Red Green was never seen
venting his spleen.
Behind the scene, Red Green cleaned and preened
until he became lean and mean;
until he was a clean lean mean Red Green machine.

Red Green tried to wean teen queen Jean Keene
off the coffee bean.
But teen queen Jean Keene was not keen for a bean weaning.

Teen queen Jean Keene was seen with a meanie named Dean Feeney.
Meanie Dean Feeney wore a beanie. Jean Keene thought Dean Feeney was a phony.
Beanie-wearing meanie Dean Feeney hung out with Rene Fellini.
Rene Fellini’s weenie was tiny.
Teen queen Jean Keene laughed at Rene Fellini’s tiny weenie.
Rene Fellini beaned Jean Keene with Dean Feeney’s beanie.
Teen queen Jean Keene’s Fellini beaning was seen by Dean Feeney.
Dean Feeney thought it was funny. Teen queen Jean Keene was sure Dean Feeney’s laugh wasn’t phony.
Behind the scene, lean mean Red Green machine preened
before venting his spleen:
“Tiny weenied Jean Keene beaner Rene Fellini is a meanie who should be maimed,” he mimed.
You see, although Red Green was a clean lean mean preening machine, he was mute as a boot. That is, he could toot, but was otherwise mute.

If your perception is keen, by now you’ve gleaned from what you’ve seen: boot-mute clean lean mean preening machine Red Green loves the bean which makes him toot. No amount of teen queen Jean Keene beaning by tiny weenied Rene Fellini or even by beanie-wearing phony Dean Feeney could ever wean clean lean machine Red Green off the bean.

No. Red Green will have to go to a detox clinic to get off the bean. There he won’t be lean. He won’t be mean. He cannot preen, until he is bean clean. Once bean clean, Red Green can once more be a lean mean preening machine. He will be completely mute, to boot. Not even a toot.

Poetry