FriendBurst Blog

Me ‘n’ U ‘n’ Audrey:

    I developed type 2 diabetes about 10 yrs ago and have lived with it ever since, (like it’s a choice).    I alone bear the blame for allowing both of my parents to get it when they were the same age.  A lot was going on in my life and I didn’t need to complicate it further with ill health.  Upon discovering my affliction, I asked someone, whose opinion I respected, what would be the worst thing that could happen if I simply ignored it for the time being.  “Not much,” he advised me.  “First, they’ll cut your feet off, and then you will go blind.  Last of all, you’ll die.”  

    Not wanting to think about the consequences of inaction, I began a program of weight control, exercise, as time allowed, and an increasingly strict diet.  Some oral medication was, and still is, required.  You can control diabetes, but it is progressive and incurable. It is not fun, but it won’t kill you unless you allow it to.

   A couple of years ago, my then youngest granddaughters’ speech appeared to be developing at a slower pace than expected.  Rather than ask for something, she would gesture toward it and allow you to fill in the blank.  Her Mother and Father were becoming concerned. I wasn’t.  “She’ll talk in her own good time,” I told them.  “She doesn’t say much now, because she doesn’t need to.  Why should she?  She gets what she wants and has a sister and Mother never shut up anyway.” It’s the same as with a child who is an expert crawler.  They will often learn to walk later than one with more tender knees.    

    I now regret my flippant advice on the subject, as our little Audrey was already suffering from undiagnosed type 1 diabetes.  Happily, her parents preferred the council of a doctor over that of mine, and were soon apprised of her condition.  They both took the necessary training and began 24/7 blood tests, insulin injections and precise carbohydrate counting to help her live with diabetes.  Lesser parents could never pull it off.  Her speech is improving and these old ears of mine are beginning to understand much of what she says.  She is patient with grandpa and speaks slowly with distinction when addressing me.  Sometimes it’s like Tim Conway and Vickie Lawrence on the old Carol Burnett show—“HELLO, MOTHER HARPER”.  Her efforts being guided by a golden heart, I am never offended. 

    Type 1 and 2 diabetes are completely different diseases, as any doctor will tell you.  Their chief similarity is a certain amount of discipline regarding ones diet. I was able to eat whatever was on my plate for 60 years.  Audrey was only able to do that for the first 3 years of her life, and neither of us can ever do it again.  Our main difference is that I don’t need insulin yet.  Of course, if a truck doesn’t run over me first, someday I surely shall. 

    It has been suggested that she might be my favorite granddaughter.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  She is, however, special.  When the rest of the family is picnicking or having holiday meals, it leaves me and Audrey to our own devices. We may not eat like everyone else, but by Gawd, we eat.  I have learned to make virtually nil carbohydrate dishes such as strawberry ice cream.  I usually have some no carb lemonade in the fridge.  With each visit she usually comes to me, early on, with a request for some of our food or drink.

   I have access to internet and 2 cooking channels on cable where I am constantly looking for something to modify or copy.   Our latest creation is the self proclaimed best pie in the world.  Audrey and I will share this recipe with you providing you promise never to breathe a word of it to another living soul.  Now that you are duly sworn to secrecy, the recipe is as follows:

1.  Separate three large egg whites and put into a food processor.
2. Add 2 tablespoons of Splenda.
3. Mix until whites begin to foam.
4. Add ½ lb of walnuts thru the top grating blade and whirr well.

   The result should be a modestly thick paste.  Using a spatula spread it into a well oiled 8” pie pan.  Pierce the crust a few times on the bottom to prevent bubbling and bake for about 15 minutes in a preheated oven (375 degrees).  Remove the crust from the oven and allow it to cool.

    Put 3 ½ cups of milk in a mixing bowl and add 2 packages of vanilla Jell-O sugar free instant pudding- mix.  Wisk for about 2 minutes and almost set.  Pour into the pie shell and sprinkle with cinnamon to taste. Top it with sugar free whipped cream, if you want it to look fancy.

    There you have it—the world’s greatest pie.  It has about 11-13 carbs per serving.  You, Audrey and I are the only people in the world that know about it.