not a Happy new year (yet)
just about a week into the new year…still just lurking on Facebook, only ONE person has asked about me…that kinda hurts…maybe when it comes to love or friendship, I’m more of a “taker” than a “giver”…that is possible I suppose…
I haven’t touched a guitar since the gig with SLR….Lou is talking about going back out soon; I could just as easily skip it…but for his sake, I’ll go…That’s what friends do, right? As for SLR, we have a gig coming up, feelin’ very ambivalent about it…I assume we’ll get paid–I can always use some money…So now even gigs with SLR are about the money–I never ever thought it would come to that, but for right NOW–it has…What I WANT to do–play electric guitar in a working band–is not happening…*I* dunno why, maybe one of my “friends” does…If the SLR gig fell thru, I wouldn’t cry…but I’d miss the money…that’s pathetic…
Such is Life–it currently sucks…
THE NEXT DAY–it may be getting slightly better…I’ll let ya know for sure when I get back from work…as of now I have (maybe) $3 in my pocket but on the bright side, tonight’s dinner (mac and cheese) is already made, I have enuff money to get to work and back, and I THINK the paycheck is already at the workplace…IF things are getting better, I’ll be happy…and grateful…
WEDNESDAY EVENING–so I got the paycheck a day early…it’s probably the biggest one I’ve gotten since I started working for my “friend” Andy…I’ll be at the Bank when it opens…after that I’ll be going to Safeway…
SLR wants to talk to me about practice and stuff…How can I possibly explain to her that making Music, even with her, doesn’t interest me right now…I think that would kill her…I KNOW I’m holding her back, and I think deep down she knows it too…(sigh)
Life is…okay…