Beautiful Boy: A Book Review
Hey folks! I had the privilege of reading one of the most personally significant books of my life here in 2011. I would highly recommend it for anyone;. if you’ve ever had to take on issues of addiction and recovery in your family or for yourself, this story will be of tremendous impact.
I had to read it as part of a class… and now, for that class, I had to write a book review. I share it with you as a blog.
Fifty miles and several hours to the airport. I was traveling on bicycle, foot, bus, train and airplane, heading south 2000 miles from one corner of the country to another. It was the holidays, and I was going to be with my family, for the first time in my new life, a life wherein a commitment to my recovery was even more important than was my previous dedication to intoxication. This was to be my first meeting with my family in sobriety.
I had two companions for my journey. The first was an old friend: my video camera. The second was a book. I had picked it up a few days before in my desire to get ahead of my readings for the upcoming quarter.
I’ve bought a lot of books for my secondary education. I think about 1/3rd of the non-fiction half of my personal library comes from books I’ve acquired as required for of one class or another. None of these of scores of books had the impact of the book I read on that trip. None of them were so personally relevant to my life and what I was doing at the time as Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. None of these books also were also #1 New York Times Bestsellers either.
I couldn’t put the book down. As I read it, I though about what I had put my family through during my decades of substance addiction. Locks on the family homestead got changed. There were instances of emotional cut-off. Enabling happened too. I don’t think anyone in recovery reading Beautiful Boy cannot help but reflect upon what he or she did to his or her own family.
At the same time that I thought about my past, I also thought about my future. As a chemical dependency counselor in training, I thought about what I would do or say if I had Nic and David in my office. How would I help this family? The book is chock full of anecdotes of what professional addiction counselors talked about in this story; despite their best efforts, these professionals did not prevent Nic from relapsing. The very foundations of the vocation I am entering were questioned by the narrative of this book.
Nic’s story continues. That he fell back into the arms of substance use did not invalidate what had been done for him thus far, by his parents and by his addiction counselors. Ultimately, as I looked at the demoralizing impacts of relapse after relapse, I realized the effects of treatment are cumulative. His first, second or third attempt at recovery may not have “worked”, but they were not without value. Relapse need not be a part of recovery; it is also not the end of recovery.
I’ve posted this video before… but this was the trip where I read the book I reviewed above…
I’ll definitely pick it up for a read J.
Thanks.
D.
Sounds like a good book, I’ll try to get it from the library, or buy it. 😛
Interesting – there does need to be a less narrow-minded thinking about this subject
Do you think it will be meaningful to me of my only personal understanding of addiction is with cheese?
Thinking on the cumulative effects you just spoke on J,while I was working in D-tox I remember many instances were this was more than true,not to mention in my own recovery.I remember one instance where a young man who could not seem to stay sober for even half a day,we would release him and admit him on the same day many times.He would relapse time and time,and time again.Anyways One day we were all talking in the office about things and his name suddenly came up because someone saw his name on the admit cardex and was shocked to see it because he had not been admitted by us in some time.Well this man who could not seem to stay sober even half a day had put together 8 months, not bad at all. Well the next time we released him he got over a year,and I remember a certain counselor I worked with at that time saying to me,”I knew he would relapse again and now he wants treatment again and I am not going to waste my time on him”.I was amazed to hear this come from her mouth.I said to her who are you to judge when this man will finally get sober and stay sober.Well needless to say the rest of that conversation did not go well.However when we both presented our cases before our unit manager him decided to give the man another chance and we sent him to treatment.I also remember saying to her that I thanked God she was not working where I had been so many times to detox myself because she would have effectively at that time in my life sent me to my death.Anyways my point is,is that one never know for sure when that time will come,or if it will even come at all really.All you can do is keep trying. That’s what that man did and that last time we saw him it finally happened that he achieved long term sobriety.He passed a few years ago,and I still think of him often.
It directly relates to your final line in this review J.
“His first, second or third attempt at recovery may not have “worked”, but they were not without value. Relapse need not be a part of recovery; it is also not the end of recovery”.
Keep up the good work boss.
D.
Yeah. The last bit about relapse not being a requirement or a dues paying sort of deal with recovery, nor meaning that everything leading up to it was a waste is true. It’s really easy for an addict to hang too much on it or use serial relapse as an excuse for the next one. Some get it in one and others need to have their noses rubbed in the poo a bit longer. The joy is in the journey, man. Rome wasn’t built in a day after all. I blame labor unions for that.
Thanks for the review. I know someone who could use this about now.
ugh…it just got too bad and too expensive and it wasn’t worth the fuss .Recession.issue fixed.
bet that book’s good…but I’d still rather buy Irvine Welsh
I am gonna get the book and read it, then send it to my 20 yr. old daughter. She will be in prison/rehab for 9 months, then on to a halfway house. For the last 3 years she has been an addict, the last 6 months she has been shooting meth. I talked to her yesterday, and I dunno, she seemed different. I think she is realizing how everyone sees her, she said some very deep things. She has lost her daughter, I have her most of the time, lost her lisense, DWI’S, shooting meth, living with 50 yr old men, the list goes on.Everytime the phone rings and I do not know the number, my heart drops, I am afraid it is someone gonna tell me she is dead. Enabling, abuse,emotional lockouts, been there, done that. I trust your judgement, gonna get the book this week-end. God bless Joko, one day at a time . :love:
Funny you mention this. I am reading tweek now. If i’m not mistaken it is his sons book, his story of his addictions. a very good read. I’ll look for the father’s book next.
Recently I came across that old adage: “Once an addict, always an addict.” I find that very dismissive and final, as if there is no point in an addict trying to get free, because they will inevitably fail, and remain forever in the grips of the substance. But I have known people, I even lived with one such person, who managed to stop the habit and rebuild his life. He did a CV and got a job working as a key worker in a hostel for homeless people, many of whom were addicted to drugs, alcohol or both, and many also had mental health problems and/or learning disabilities. Your last words, “His first, second or third attempt at recovery may not have “worked”, but they were not without value. Relapse need not be a part of recovery; it is also not the end of recovery.” are very true, and so I disagree with that “once an addict, always an addict” thing. Why do people say that? Are they discriminatory folks who have a negative view of addicts? Or maybe they are addicts who do not want someone else to get free?