Surviving
{Note: I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this here or not but my life feels like a roller coaster right now – one minute up, one minute down. My eyes are sore and swollen from crying practically everyday and right now I just feel lost and alone. I just feel so lost about pretty much everyone and EVERYTHING right now. 😥 I wrote this the other day and I felt better after I did but now, I think I needed to post this here just to sort of remind myself about all of this, too, and try to convince myself of all of what I wrote. I hope this might help anyone else whose life feels like it really sucks at the moment, too.}
“Into each life some rain must fall.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Nobody told me there would be days like these….strange days indeed.” – John Lennon
Everyone goes through them. Hard times. Dark days. Difficult times when you don’t feel like you have a friend in the world and that there is no possible way things will ever get better. It just seems to me that these days are all around me right now, in one way or another. Health issues, financial issues, personal issues, unemployment, depression….you name something crappy and I know someone close to me, or is me, who is dealing with it. I definitely feel like the bluebird of happiness is leaving it’s droppings all over everyone’s personal rainbows right now.
Now I know this isn’t the first time that we have faced dark times. Right now I want everyone who is reading this to think back to one, two, heck even three of the darkest moments in your life that you have experienced. Alright, you got ‘em? Good. Now let me ask you this. When you were smack dab right in the middle of these hard times, did you ever think there would be a time when you would actually be able to look back upon them or did you truly believe that you would be swallowed up by them completely and never find your way out again? Well if you’re sitting there reading this right now, it proves that somehow you survived them afterall. Congratulations.
As bad as things are and as much as it would be so easy to just curl up on the couch in the fetal position and continually, mindlessly, just click the remote and channel surf as you try with all your might to block out the world entirely, you just can’t. Some of us have responsibilities and even if you don’t, once you allow yourself to cease functioning it either makes it that much harder of a crawl back up the hill towards life again once you do somehow see just a tiny break of sunshine through the clouds, or it’s simply over. Stick a fork in yourself, cause you’re done. But life is a funny thing. Change and tough times are inevitable. They hit each and every one of us most times when we least expect it and when it couldn’t be any worse of a time for them to hit (as if there ever would be a good time to hit). But from my experience life has a funny way of having everything somehow work out for the best in the end. It doesn’t always seem that way at the time and very often at the time it honestly ISN’T, but time often has a way of weaving a tapestry to at least make it seem like it’s okay. Is time nature’s novicane? Perhaps, but even if things do still suck, isn’t it better when at least we can’t feel the pain from it anymore? In my opinion some things, like the loss of a loved one, can never be made right. These things only hurt a bit less once the novicane kicks in. Other things, though, somehow find their own way of adjusting and slowly becoming at first better but over time, actually alright.
I am the self elected cheerleader to all of the people in my life. When someone is down or having a bad time, they always turn to me for a comforting word or to cheer them up. Right now, though, I can’t seem to find my way through my own personal fog to see the sunlight at the end of it all. I just have to know and depend on the fact that it’s there just because it always has been before. Why wouldn’t it be there now? I catch a glimpse of light every now and then but then I have a day when the “perky little elf” that dwells deep inside of my heart and soul is nowhere to be found….or trying her best to free herself from the ropes and gag that I have imposed on her. Today was one of those days for me simply because…..it just was.
So to everyone else out there who has some kind of crappy and unpleasant thing hanging over their head or imposing itself on your life, I guess I want to say this. Yes, somehow we will all survive and get through this test, trial or tribulation that we are going through right now if for no other reason, than that we always just seem to. It usually just happens whether we make the conscious effort to help it along or not. Isn’t it great how life still manages to take care of us somehow even when we can’t be bothered? So there you have it. In spite of the fact that I wanted to give my perky little elf that lives inside of my heart and soul a good swift kick, somehow she managed to escape and gave us all a bit of a pep talk. Darn it! Next time I’ll have to use some stronger rope to tie her up better.
We will survive.
We will move past this.
Somehow we always do.
So why not this time?
love all you wrote here, excellent bulletin
wish you the best.
excellent blog
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Good Write 😉
“Today was one of those days for me simply because…..it just was.”
Been there so many times, too many times, and no doubt will find my way back there again. Such is life on the paths we travel, there is always something or someone who will place hurdles in front of us as we try to get from point “A” to point “B”. Most can be cleared with ease, while others are just to big to get over. Those I ether find a tall ladder or just simply go around.
Sometimes right when things start to look brighter a dark cloud will appear on the horizon. The cloud can take many forms, it can reflect health, financial, family, love, or just a personal conflict. It can be discouraging so say the least, but as you say, “Here we are”, and after we have weathered the storm and the dark clouds once again fade away we will find our rainbow promising a better day.
I hope the dark clouds clear quickly for you and the sun shines brightly to warm the path you follow. And when that rainbow once again appears on your horizon my its brilliant colors fill your heart with love and joy.
Dw
We don’t know each other, but I think that you are very strong for being able to verbalize what bothers you in such a simple and strong way. I usually tie up in a knot, drink and talk about rubbish and avoid other people when I’m troubled. Yes, you will get over this, you ARE a survivor. It’s what I tell myself: ‘I’m not giving up yet’, and while I may not really believe it at the time, somehow these words become a spell, a little game that I know i’m playing with myself.
I’m sure you can see yourself from the outside and contemplate: who is she? I love her. She is strong. She will overcome this.
Give yourself a big hug and trust in your ability to see love and hope. I see it in you xxxx
I have so many “spells” like the one you’ve described here that it truly has become the norm… I get freaked out, and hard core skeptical when something actually manages to go right, or at least not horribly wrong 🙂 .
But the one thing that is always stuck in my head, like an annoying little fly buzzing around, is the certainty that the bullsh*t cannot last indefinitely- never has yet, and statistics and probability side heavily with the likelihood that it’s temporary, just like the good times in life.
Weird thing I just thought about… During the ‘good times’, I am plagued with an absolute writer block… went a year or more without a single entry
At least I don’t have that problem these days 😆
Sure would be nice to be afflicted with another extended writer block [probably would even make some other folks happy too :)]
Anyway, short answer; ‘This too, shall pass.’
:love:
The Kybalion speaks of life being like a pendulum. It swings equally in both directions. I have witnessed this in my time on Earth. The thing that I keep in mind is that for all of the bad, the swing will go back to all of the good, equally. It gets me through the bad times and ground during the good.
I commend your courage to write this down for all to see, to share these thoughts took courage….a determined courage. A good write. You expressed in few words what many cannot do in a book.
RC 😀