Just ’cause I think I am doesn’t mean I am, right?
had a gig this evening in Frederick, with my singer/songwriter friend Michelle; I was nervous and played just fairly IMO…I did get some compliments, but I dunno why…it may be hard to believe that after doing this for about 40 years (!) I still get nervous sometimes but it’s true…I think my problem is that (as a guitarist at least) I’m not consistant…there have been times (rare, but still) when wherever the fingers landed on the fretboard was the “right” spot; there have been times (not TOO often, but it has happened) where the fingers couldn’t find ANY “right” spots…mostly on any given night, in any given guitar solo on any given song, there will be BOTH…*I* think I’m a good guitarist, whatever “good” means, but I dunno fer sure…and should a compliment from a “civilian”–what I call a non-Musician, carry less weight than that of a Musician? If someone likes what you do, whatever YOU yourself think, isn’t that enuff? Every time I pick up a guitar in public, this is what I struggle with…having said all that, the gig in Frederick was FUN, and that always counts for something…I suspect every Artist wrestles with this dilemma…knowing that helps a little, but only so much…It was a VERY good weekend, grateful for that…
ADDENDUM–I also keep in mind that aural beauty is in the EAR of the beholder…and 2) envy is also something I wrestle with–a Musician I certainly am…a Songwriter? not so much…but NOW, for the time being, I don’t mind being ME…I DID get six hours sleep last night, I just wish it coulda been a LATER six hours…for now, Life is Good…
It’s true, no matter what our craft may be, we always judge ourselves far more harshly than others will. If someone likes it.. it’s good!
That feeling in your gut is character. You care about what people think of your art as you present it in a way that only you can. Missed progressions, finger lands…It’s like Sam I Am says—it’s all good. Live performances, no matter who plays—notes are missplayed, but the audience i still appreciative…
You should start to worry when you no longer care and that nervousness stops coming to visit…
yer both right, thanx…if nothing else what the audiences see/hear when *I* am onstage is REAL–be it good or bad, which after all, is in the ear of the beholder…