FriendBurst Blog

Hey, smell that? That odor of possibilities and new beginnings? That eau d’ la low chronometer? It’s that New Year smell!

When I first read Kevin announce his plans for the “FriendBurst 1000” Club and badges for featured members, I was skeptical. Honestly, I didn’t think it was such a good idea. Recognizing the first 1000 members thing sounded exclusive, and maybe a bit premature for a site that has what, 1500 members right now? One thing any social network that is trying to expand should avoid is creating an non-welcoming atmosphere of “us” and “the rest of you.”… Yeah, it’s great if you’re on the “us” side of the equation, but I’ve been on the other side of that too. Any small social network is going to create some exclusivity; us “ground floorers” are going to feel special, like this site is partly “ours”… That will turn off new members. This FriendBurst 1000 thing seems like it could be a legitimization of that attitude. Again, Kevin’s motives are all good: recognizing deserving early members, but I think he should think about how that might effect this site’s growth.

Maybe new members could earn an automatic “FriendBurst Noob” badge immediately upon joining.

I felt the same thing about the “Featured Member” distinction. We’re all equals here, right? What makes someone deserving of some quasi-aristocratic distinction? It would be just as bad as MySpace handing out badges that said “Top Blogger” or some other nonsense. Goes against liberté, égalité, fraternité.

Then I came home after my New Years Night to find a message from Kevin in my Inbox. In it, I found this:

A Featured Member? I’ve never even sent pictures of my member over the Internet; how could it be featured? OH! I AM A FEATURED MEMBER! Well… Snazzy looking badge here too! Well… Hmm… Maybe this Featured Member thing isn’t such a bad idea after all.

Okay… I should make a “poll” here… If someone boasts about their featured member status, do you want to punch them in the nose?

Allrightythen… Now that I’m featured, what do I need to do? Be extra special nice to people? Meh. Create more content for FriendBurtst? Well, I’d be doing that anyways. How about what I SHOULDN’T do?

For example, don’t lead your 7 year-old nephew into making obscene gestures on YouTube videos.  There’s a start.

I swear, it was not pre-planned!! I was just hanging out with the kid and I noticed that the little bits of broken balloons looked like little hats. The skit we made up was entirely spontaneous (but it‘s June! – the kid has a future in comedy, I tell ya). Good thing my sister, the kid’s mom, isn’t on FriendBurst.

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What else shouldn’t I do? Okay, this shouldn’t be too tough. How about not ridiculing the developmentally disabled in front of large groups of people? Don’t make fun of the mentally retarded. That should be easy, right? Shoot! I’m 0 for 2.

So I was up on stage last night, and after spitting out my kazoo during the first number, I picked it up and tossed it to a guy sitting in the front row in the middle of my set. He looked at me with these big eyes and this wondrous expression on his face, like I was giving him my kazoo, like rock stars throw their guitar picks to the crowd, this tremendous gift. You’ll hear me have fun with the guy in the video below…

Later, in the green room, the young man came up to me, and complimented my performance. I apologized for kind of putting him on the spot while I was up there. He looked at me uncomprehendingly. He talked some more. Then I realized something. He was differently-abled. Dang. I really, really don’t want to make fun of those guys.

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How about not making fun of large bodied women, particularly when they’re doing something that I love, play basketball. I was out on the basketball court for the first time in several months the other day, and I really felt my huskiness slowing me down. I enjoy basketball on TV, but I can’t imagine that fat girls playing basketball is going to garner very good ratings.

I took this picture off my TV’s program guide this morning…

Oh… they’re talking about the University of Washington Huskies women’s basketball team!

I don’t know what being a Featured Members means in terms of being a good FriendBurst citizen, but I am definitely not off to a good start.

I’ll conclude this New Years blog with hopes for the team of the state where I was born, my dad’s alma mater, GO BADGERS!!

Today’s Rose Bowl features the University of Wisconsin Badgers versus the TCU HORNED FROGS.  C’mon… When it comes to mascots, that’s a no-brainer, a badger would whip ANY frog, I don’t care how many horns it has! Still, I wouldn’t bet on either of those two if they had to face an angry Husky Woman.

Did you catch my YEAR IN REVIEW from yesterday?  I think its worth a look, even if I wasn’t featured yesterday.