{"id":25683,"date":"2011-03-25T10:23:23","date_gmt":"2011-03-25T14:23:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/25683\/basic-rules-dogs\/"},"modified":"2011-03-25T10:23:23","modified_gmt":"2011-03-25T14:23:23","slug":"basic-rules-dogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/25683\/basic-rules-dogs\/","title":{"rendered":"Basic Rules for Dogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

Posted By:
AfSD\u2122(ADVOCATE FOR SAVING DOGS\u2122)<\/a>
\n
\nFacebook:
Advocate for Saving Dogs\u2122 on Facebook<\/a>
\n
<\/a><\/p>\n

\n
Basic Rules for Dogs<\/p>\n

Newspapers:
\n If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard,
\nalways use the newspaper that’s placed in the driveway every morning for
\n that purpose.<\/p>\n

Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid
\nof dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on
\nthis person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying,
\nlick its face and growl gently to show your concern.<\/p>\n

Barking:
\nBecause you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark–a lot. Your
\nowners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially
\n late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no
\n more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of
\n the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark…<\/p>\n

Licking:
\n Always take a big drink from your water dish immediately before licking
\n your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a
\n towel.<\/p>\n

Holes: Rather than digging a big hole in the middle of
\nthe yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over
\nthe yard so they won’t notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on
\none side of each hole, maybe they’ll think it’s gophers. There are never
\n enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help
\ncorrect this problem.<\/p>\n

Doors: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
The Art of Sniffing: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.<\/p>\n

Dining
\n Etiquette: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there
\nare guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It’s
\nalso a good time to practice your sniffing.<\/p>\n

Housebreaking: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
Going for Walks: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
Couches: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.
Playing:
\n If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower
\nbed to absorb your fall so you don’t injure yourself.
Chasing Cats: When chasing cats, make sure you never–quite–catch them. It spoils all the fun.
Chewing: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. …Eat a shoe.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Posted By:AfSD\u2122(ADVOCATE FOR SAVING DOGS\u2122) Facebook:Advocate for Saving Dogs\u2122 on Facebook Basic Rules for Dogs Newspapers: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that’s placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose. Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25683"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25683\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}