{"id":27416,"date":"2011-03-31T23:25:20","date_gmt":"2011-04-01T03:25:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/27416\/leap-hands\/"},"modified":"2011-03-31T23:25:20","modified_gmt":"2011-04-01T03:25:20","slug":"leap-hands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/27416\/leap-hands\/","title":{"rendered":"Do Things Fairly Leap From Your Hands???"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hi Torque Gravity:<\/em>\u00a0 A little known scientific phenomenon.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s been around as long as its cousin, linear gravity, although not as well known because it occurs in seemingly random places and times.\u00a0 Linear or common gravity as described by Newton is usually thought of as the complete force in its singular form because it is omnipresent and quantifiable.\u00a0 Given a perfect vacuum a falling object will accelerate at a rate of 32ft per second squared continuously.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we all learned in school, and it\u2019s true.\u00a0 In the secret scientific circles throughout the world there are murmurs of another form of gravity that Newton and Einstein\u2019s theories never publicly tried to explain.\u00a0 It is spoken of in hushed whispers at academic cocktail parties from Beijing to Philadelphia as non-linear, logarithmic, or by its common name, hi torque gravity.\u00a0 It is a poorly kept secret among the hi-Q of world intelligentsia.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Of course, we common folks have been vaguely aware of it for years.\u00a0 Remember the first time your blushing bride tried to help your Mother do dishes?\u00a0 Mother was quite gracious about it, and has never mentioned that precious porcelain bowl to this day. \u00a0\u00a0Remember trying to help your Mother-in-Law move her furniture?\u00a0 That cut-glass lamp she bought on her only trip to Europe fairly leapt from your hands.\u00a0 She\u2019s been nice enough to never bring up the subject again.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Remember handing your Father one of his tools while he lay under the car?\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t as nice as your Mum would have been, but you shouldn\u2019t misjudge his anger.\u00a0 He never believed in hi torque<\/em> gravity<\/em> anyway.\u00a0 He was such<\/em><\/strong> a Luddite.\u00a0 No one but no<\/strong> one ever talks about the time cousins Lee Roy and Dave rented a cherry picker to change the engine in that old Plymouth.\u00a0 After 40 years, their own families won\u2019t talk about it, so neither shall I.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 There was the beautiful hand-crafted figurine I bought her for one of our early anniversaries.\u00a0 Without warning, it suddenly jumped energetically from both our hands as I was proudly presenting it to her.\u00a0 And proud, I should have been, it cost me a half-week\u2019s wages.\u00a0 The unlucky statuette held up bravely for the first two bounces, defiantly staying in one piece.\u00a0 Even by the third bounce it had only broken in two.\u00a0 It could have still have been repaired and the resulting epoxied crack would have enhanced its value as a conversation piece.\u00a0 For its fourth and final bounce it accelerated quickly and destroyed itself completely on the floor.\u00a0 All that remained was a dusting of glass particles so fine you could have walked barefoot across them unharmed.\u00a0 Blinded by our love and ignorant of scientific fact, we each insisted upon accepting blame for being clumsy enough to allow it to happen.\u00a0 Naturally, we both know better now.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Our children are old enough to realize that there are times when gravity seems to do perverse things, but are unwilling to accept the scientific fact that there are random pockets of it enhanced by some mysterious hi torque force. \u00a0Parents with children at home soon stop referring to \u201cjelly side down\u201d as mere superstition, but stop short of admitting it to be what it really is, a playful form of hi<\/em> torque gravity.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes, when in that ethereal world between sleep and coffee, I see a large blackboard with chalk formulae that I have compiled over the years which is on the verge of proving it mathematically.\u00a0 As a rule, during the moments of enlightenment, I fall soundly asleep then and have to start over when I am nearly awake in the morning.\u00a0 When I am near completing it in the morning, I am always awakened by the smell of bacon and coffee or the sounds of hi torque gravity ripping a plate of fried eggs from my poor wife\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s a force of nature that would have been outed by science long ago, were it not so perversely intermittent.\u00a0 There are times when it seems to have dark spiritual qualities as well, and once I have completed my carefully collected computations, it will be completely explained to the satisfaction of skeptics everywhere.\u00a0 The science is, in fact, settled.\u00a0 Only the proof is missing.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My primary fear is that, in my current dotage, upon rising each morning I am less than well balanced. I usually sway around for a few minutes until my inner ear joins the rest of me and I can walk without falling.\u00a0 During this period of time I am keenly aware of my vulnerability to a random, or even designed field of hi torque gravity<\/em> which could easily drop kick me off the wall and into the next world.\u00a0 If that should happen, it will be up to modern science to prove that which Glow and I have long since discovered.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hi Torque Gravity:\u00a0 A little known scientific phenomenon. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s been around as long as its cousin, linear gravity, although not as well known because it occurs in seemingly random places and times.\u00a0 Linear or common gravity as described by Newton is usually thought of as the complete force in its singular form because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27416"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27416\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}