{"id":29855,"date":"2011-04-13T01:38:52","date_gmt":"2011-04-13T05:38:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/29855\/wear-high-heeled-bifocals\/"},"modified":"2011-04-13T01:38:52","modified_gmt":"2011-04-13T05:38:52","slug":"wear-high-heeled-bifocals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/29855\/wear-high-heeled-bifocals\/","title":{"rendered":"You Want Me To Wear High-Heeled Bifocals?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got this e-mail from the director of the new play that I\u2019m in:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I’m thinking Frosine would wear high-heeled shoes and would be very comfortable in them. In order for that to work, you may have to wear high-heeled shoes for all or most rehearsals. Is that do-able if we get high-heeled shoes that fit you? What’s your shoe size?<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

My reply:<\/p>\n

At 6 feet tall, I think I’m the tallest member of the cast. The other principles in the scenes I am in are between 6 inches to a full foot shorter than me.\u00a0 You’re the director, you can decide on the costuming, but are you sure about this?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Size 12 E.\u00a0 Men\u2019s.\u00a0 Good luck finding heels in that size.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"Oh Jesus Christ.<\/strong><\/em> I thought that in taking the female role of Frosine in this play (Moliere\u2019s The Miser), I wouldn\u2019t have to deal with the whole costuming thing until dress rehearsals.\u00a0 I mean, come on.\u00a0 How hard could it possibly be to wear heels?\u00a0 Do they really require \u201cpractice\u201d?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And if they are that difficult, what if I turn an ankle or worse during rehearsals?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"One thing I am learning as we start our rehearsals is that doing the falsetto, Monty Python-esque HELLLLOOOO!!! exaggerated Mrs Doubtfire female voice is really rough on the vocal chords.\u00a0 After the first act, my voice is shot doing that character, so during rehearsal, I am using normal voice\u2026\u00a0 Then again, maybe I should camp it up even more a la Harvey Fierstein and be all smoky and crackly for effect<\/span><\/span>.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

\"\"I\u2019m experiencing some instant karma that comes out of the last music video<\/a> I made.\u00a0 At some point during the recording of that video, I took off my eye glasses because well\u2026 I don\u2019t need them THAT much and they reflect in bright lighting\u2026 and I think I look better without them.\u00a0 It\u2019s a bit of vanity, I\u2019ll admit.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That was Sunday.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t seen them since.\u00a0 I\u2019ve looked everywhere!\u00a0 In my 500 square foot apartment, there\u2019s really not that many places they could be!\u00a0 I know when I\u2019ll find them too: the minute my new glasses arrive.\u00a0\u00a0 A friend told me about this deal at a nearby optometrist of $69 for TWO pairs of glasses WITH a free eye exam.\u00a0 What a bargain!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I knew it was time for a new eye exam anyways.\u00a0 Lately, when I want to read something, I couldn\u2019t really see it that well with my glasses on (which I need to see distances).\u00a0 So I\u2019d take them off.\u00a0 Uh oh, do\u00a0 I need bifocals?\u00a0\u00a0 I found my very first grey hair on my head just this last weekend.\u00a0 That and needing bifocals in the same week would be doubly dubious signs of my advancing age.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I explained the situation to my optometrist and after he tested my eyes, he told me he could provide more expensive bifocals, but the lower part would not have any type of corrective lens\u2026 or I could just take my glasses off to read.\u00a0 See, I don\u2019t need anything to read better\u2026 yet\u2026 I just can\u2019t see things up close while wearing my glasses.\u00a0 I went with the just take off my glasses option.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I just have a go 7 to 10 days without being able to see the whiteboard at school and have a vague headache all the freekin time.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to have to live through ankle pain at the same time.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

* * *<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

150 years ago today, the Civil War began.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Three years ago today, I posted my favorite \u201crandom clip\u201d video\u2026\u00a0 THE HAMSTER DANCE!!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got this e-mail from the director of the new play that I\u2019m in:<\/p>\n

I’m thinking Frosine would wear high-heeled shoes and would be very comfortable in them. In order for that to work, you may have to wear high-heeled shoes for all or most rehearsals. Is that do-able if we get high-heeled shoes that fit you? What’s your shoe size? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,10],"tags":[81,69,2509,237],"class_list":["post-29855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art","category-life","tag-joko","tag-life-2","tag-theatre","tag-weird"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29855","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29855"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29855\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29855"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29855"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}