{"id":35580,"date":"2011-05-10T11:20:11","date_gmt":"2011-05-10T15:20:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/35580\/art-offended-2\/"},"modified":"2011-05-10T11:20:11","modified_gmt":"2011-05-10T15:20:11","slug":"art-offended-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/35580\/art-offended-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Not Being Offended"},"content":{"rendered":"

Networking By:
\n<\/strong>Advocate for Saving Dogs\u2122<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>\"Photobucket\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Posted by: Nan Sea Love<\/a><\/p>\n

The Art of Not Being Offended<\/h2>\n

By Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli<\/a><\/p>\n

\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
Who are you allowing to upset your equanimity?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great
\nOnes have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use
\nit all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This
\nsecret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly
\nbe a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement,
\naction and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their
\ntotal life experience to date.<\/p>\n

In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they
\ndo from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to
\nsurvive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do
\nwith us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in
\nparticular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar
\nsituation, usually when they were young.<\/p>\n

Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let’s face it, we live in a world where
\npsychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who
\nwishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really
\nneeds to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact,
\nthe word psychology literally means the study of the soul.<\/p>\n

\n
\"\"<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

All of that said, almost nothing is personal. Even with our closest
\nloved ones, our beloved partners, our children and our friends. We are
\nall swimming in the projections and filters of each other’s life
\nexperiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of
\nlife to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is
\nnot to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships,
\nbut mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we
\nare actually just in a misunderstanding.<\/p>\n

A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and
\nless suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know that we
\nare just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the
\nright psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing\u2014we
\ndon’t have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely
\nbe someone else.<\/p>\n

This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of people
\naround us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being
\noffended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting? In
\nfact, every time we get offended, it is actually an opportunity to
\nextend kindness to one who may be suffering\u2014even if they themselves do
\nnot appear that way on the surface. All anger, all acting out, all
\nharshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering. When we
\nprovide no Velcro for it to stick, something changes in the world. We do
\nnot even have to say a thing. In fact, it is usually better not to say a
\nthing.<\/p>\n

People who are suffering on the inside, but not showing it on the
\noutside, are usually not keen on someone pointing out to them that they
\nare suffering. We do not have to be our loved one’s therapist. We need
\nonly understand the situation and move on. In the least, we ourselves
\nexperience less suffering and at best, we have a chance to make the
\nworld a better place.<\/p>\n

This is also not to be confused with allowing ourselves to be hurt,
\nneglected or taken advantage of. True compassion does not allow harm to
\nourselves either. But when we know that nothing is personal, a magical
\nthing happens. Many of the seeming abusers of the world start to leave
\nour lives. Once we are conscious, so-called abuse can only happen if we
\nbelieve what the other is saying. When we know nothing is personal, we
\nalso do not end up feeling abused. We can say, “Thank you for sharing,”
\nand move on. We are not hooked by what another does or says, since we
\nknow it is not about us.<\/p>\n

When we know that our inherent worth is not determined by what another
\nsays, does or believes, we can take the world a little less seriously.
\nAnd if necessary, we can just walk away without creating more misery for
\nourselves or having to convince the other person that we are good and
\nworthy people.<\/p>\n

The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment,
\nregardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art
\nof not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical
\nmystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of
\nthe best kept secrets for living a happy life.<\/p>\n

Before you get upset by something someone says online, consider the source!<\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
People and things are not always as they appear, especially on-line.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Networking By: Advocate for Saving Dogs\u2122 Posted by: Nan Sea Love The Art of Not Being Offended By Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli Who are you allowing to upset your equanimity? There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35580"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35580\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}