{"id":36790,"date":"2011-05-15T23:05:23","date_gmt":"2011-05-16T03:05:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/36790\/recall-notice\/"},"modified":"2011-05-15T23:05:23","modified_gmt":"2011-05-16T03:05:23","slug":"recall-notice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/36790\/recall-notice\/","title":{"rendered":"RECALL NOTICE!"},"content":{"rendered":"
R<\/strong>ECALL NOTICE:
\n<\/strong>
\nThe Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
\n<\/strong>
\nThis is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed “Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,” or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.<\/strong> <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
\n
Some of the symptoms include:<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\n1. Loss of direction
\n2. Foul vocal emissions
\n3. Amnesia of origin
\n4. Lack of peace and joy
\n5. Selfish or violent behavior
\n6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
\n7. Fearfulness
\n8. Idolatry
\n9. Rebellion
\n<\/strong>
\nThe Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered
\nto bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.\u00a0 There is no additional fee required.
\n<\/strong>
\nThe number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
\nOnce connected, please upload your burden of SIN through
\nthe REPENTANCE procedure.
\n<\/strong>
\nNext, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician,
\nJesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or
\nsmall the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
1. Love
\n2. Joy
\n3. Peace
\n4. Patience
\n5. Kindness
\n6. Goodness
\n7. Faithfulness
\n8. Gentleness
\n9. Self control<\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/strong>Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.<\/strong> (Basic
\nInstructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on
\nthe use of these fixes.<\/span><\/p>\n

WARNING:<\/span><\/strong> Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this
\nrecall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The
\nSIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
\nprevent contamination of that facility.
\n<\/strong>
\nThank you for your attention! <\/strong>– GOD <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36790"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36790\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}