{"id":67255,"date":"2011-10-10T17:19:58","date_gmt":"2011-10-10T21:19:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/67255\/farted\/"},"modified":"2011-10-10T17:19:58","modified_gmt":"2011-10-10T21:19:58","slug":"farted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/67255\/farted\/","title":{"rendered":"I FARTED ON IT"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left\"><font face=\"comic sans ms,sans-serif\" size=\"4\" color=\"#000000\">I saw this sign in my neighborhood and thought it somewhat odd\u2026<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.friendburst.com\/file\/pic\/photo\/2011\/10\/Joko_Londo-churchpets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Bless thy pets?\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Why not?<\/p>\n<p>Was forced to leave my bicycle locked all day in an unattended area yesterday as my normal busses don\u2019t run on Sunday, and there was no room on my alternate route\u2019s bus for bikes.\u00a0 Nine hours later, I return to find my bicycle seat stolen.<\/p>\n<p>Bastards.\u00a0 I hope they know I farted on it.\u00a0 Many times.<br \/>\n<\/font><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.friendburst.com\/file\/pic\/photo\/2011\/10\/Joko_Londo-noseat.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><font face=\"comic sans ms,sans-serif\" size=\"4\" color=\"#000000\">Note how the little luggage rack thingy above the back tire is kind of bent?\u00a0 That\u2019s the power of my ass.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ll remember a couple months back, I went and had a conversation with the upstairs neighbor about trying to keep their nosey children from \u201cvisiting\u201d me at my bedroom window.\u00a0 It totally worked!\u00a0 They now RUN by window without a hint of lingering.<\/p>\n<p>Or I should say they used to.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t heard any of their constant little children noises these last couple days.\u00a0 Then yesterday, I walk out onto our shared front yard to find this\u2026<\/font><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.friendburst.com\/file\/pic\/photo\/2011\/10\/Joko_Londo-graves.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"450\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><font face=\"comic sans ms,sans-serif\" size=\"4\" color=\"#000000\">It wasn\u2019t me.\u00a0 I swear.<\/p>\n<p>Bliss The Cat looks suspiciously pleased though.<br \/>\n<\/font><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.friendburst.com\/file\/pic\/photo\/2011\/10\/Joko_Londo-catgrave.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"502\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><font face=\"comic sans ms,sans-serif\" size=\"4\" color=\"#000000\"><br \/>\n<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I saw this sign in my neighborhood and thought it somewhat odd\u2026 Bless thy pets?\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Why not? Was forced to leave my bicycle locked all day in an unattended area yesterday as my normal busses don\u2019t run on Sunday, and there was no room on my alternate route\u2019s bus for bikes.\u00a0 Nine hours later, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,44,10],"tags":[81],"class_list":["post-67255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-environment","category-holidays","category-life","tag-joko"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67255"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67255\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}