{"id":69102,"date":"2011-10-29T01:14:12","date_gmt":"2011-10-29T05:14:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/69102\/floofie\/"},"modified":"2011-10-29T01:14:12","modified_gmt":"2011-10-29T05:14:12","slug":"floofie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/69102\/floofie\/","title":{"rendered":"My Floofie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>See&#8230;now&#8230;I know it could be expected of me to drone on and on about the worms that crawl around in my brain&#8230;expound on what a monster I am (I am)&#8230;speak of blood lust&#8230;my conquests&#8230;my battles&#8230;tell you tales of my adventures through time and although all thoroughly enthralling&#8230;what I wish to speak of&#8230;is&#8230;the insanities of my world.<\/p>\n<p>My toilet seat floofie has gone to hell! One little goddamn corner will not stay on! I stretch it on&#8230;it pops off&#8230;I stretch it on&#8230;it pops off&#8230;I stretch it on while I swear at it&#8230;and&#8230;it pops off! It&#8217;s driving me insane!<\/p>\n<p>What is yours truly to do now? It&#8217;s not like I can take my Benzie to a store and purchase just one black&#8230;with rose embroidery&#8230;toilet seat floofie! The store will not f*cking have that! It came in a set! Jesus&#8230;stay on&#8230;stay on&#8230;stay on&#8230;*pop*&#8230;damnit.<\/p>\n<p>So&#8230;now I am going to have to hunt down an appropriate package set&#8230;again! Do you have any idea the level of difficulty in finding a black&#8230;with rose embroidery&#8230;set?! Almost impossible! Even for one such as I! London doesn&#8217;t have them&#8230;Rome doesn&#8217;t have them&#8230;Istanbul doesn&#8217;t have them&#8230;goddamnit.<\/p>\n<p>I am now going to be forced to purchase the toilet seat mat&#8230;not to mention the floofie itself&#8230;the sink mat and the toilet bowl tank cozy&#8230;all because of one little corner of my current black&#8230;with rose embroidery&#8230; toilet seat floofie!<\/p>\n<p>Come on you bastard&#8230;*pop*.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Insanities of the bathroom facilities<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,17,10,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-69102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friendburst","category-home","category-life","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69102"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69102\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}