{"id":69971,"date":"2011-11-04T23:49:06","date_gmt":"2011-11-05T03:49:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/69971\/jokos-car-part-one\/"},"modified":"2011-11-04T23:49:06","modified_gmt":"2011-11-05T03:49:06","slug":"jokos-car-part-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/69971\/jokos-car-part-one\/","title":{"rendered":"JOKO’S NEW CAR (Part One)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can\u2019t begin to describe the butterflies in my stomach yesterday as I waited for my second bus to take me to the cheap-used-car heart of Aurora Avenue in Shoreline.\u00a0 I had three or four vehicles on my list to look at, but in my heart and mind, one stood out.<\/font><\/p>\n

It was quirky.<\/p>\n

It was a daring original in its time.<\/p>\n

\"\"The Pontiac TransPort was probably the first of the \u201ccrossover\u201d category.\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s a mini-van, but I can see over the top of it at my 6 feet tall.\u00a0 It was the first crossover. It had weird taillights way up high on the vehicle.\u00a0 Unique.\u00a0 Weird.\u00a0 Totally me.<\/p>\n

It was also the cheapest one on my list.\u00a0 One I could pay cash for from one paycheck.<\/p>\n

Still, I had that tremendous feeling of forboding deep in my gut, a nervousness of doing something tremendous as I boarded the 358 bus, scared out of my wits.\u00a0 I\u2019m just buying a car.\u00a0 What\u2019s the big deal?<\/p>\n

See, for me, the way I ended my driving history 19 months ago was so traumatic, so life changing, that this wasn\u2019t just buying a car, this was becoming a new type of person: one who could be trusted behind the wheel of a 2000 pound piece of steel, rubber and glass. This was in some ways, a culmination of my new found sobriety and recovery.<\/p>\n

Still, I knew I had to pull myself together, gird my loins, and at least be a little sophisticated and standoffish.\u00a0 These used car salesmen would charm you and then steal your last penny, right?<\/p>\n

Why is it that \u201cloins\u201d are the only thing one \u201cgirds\u201d?\u00a0 Why can\u2019t we \u201cgird\u201d anything else?<\/p>\n

I went into Chuck Olson\u2019s Chevy\/Kia with only one real question in mind.\u00a0 I had seen their listing for the \u201894 Pontiac TransPort at $999 10 times in the week or so I had been surfing used car listings. Something seemed too good to be true.\u00a0 Like the early 20\u2019s cheerleader posting on AdultFriendFinder, looking for an \u201colder man\u201d.\u00a0 Does she have the clap?\u00a0 Is she going to charge $200?\u00a0 Does she have a penis?\u00a0 See, this vehicle was $1600 below Kelley Bluebook and 500 to 600 less than comparable vehicles being sold elsewhere.\u00a0 Something had to be up.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what\u2019s wrong with it?\u201d \u00a0\"\"<\/p>\n

This was my first question to my salesman as I stuck my head inside the TranSport and took in that used car smell.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s got 200,000 miles on it.\u00a0 This is normally a vehicle we\u2019d auction off to a smaller lot, but with the economy the way it is, we just gotta do and sell whatever we can.\u201d<\/p>\n

Brilliant salesman response.\u00a0 Make your business the victim of the current economy.\u00a0 Make it seem like they would normally even be above dealing in such piddly three-figure vehicles.\u00a0 I\u2019m getting such a deal because times are tough, not that there is anything wrong.<\/p>\n

Now, as a salesman, I could admire such a response, but ultimately, this man and I were adversaries when it comes to the negotiation of the price of this vehicle.<\/p>\n

We drove off for a test drive.\u00a0 The engine sounded okay.\u00a0 Everything worked. The car was a bit sluggish, not what one thinks of when one thinks \u201cPontiac\u201d, but what one would expect for an older car.\u00a0 In any case, a sluggish car is probably a good idea for me.\u00a0 I can\u2019t speak to what happened that fateful night 19 months ago, suffice to say that \u201cMY CAR IS FAST!\u201d might have crossed my mind.<\/p>\n

See, my negotiation with the dealership was not about the price but about the \u201cdocument fee\u201d, a rather official sounding thing they\u2019re allowed by the state to charge for the processing of the title transfer and tabs, beyond what the state charges already.\u00a0 It\u2019s entirely negotiable, and girded by what I read on the internet (I guess one CAN use girded in other contexts), I was NOT going to pay a document fee.<\/p>\n

After 6 or 10 blocks of driving this beast, I was satisfied with its performance and turned around back towards the dealership.\u00a0 While waiting at a light on the busiest city street in the North Seattle (Aurora), the TranSport died.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d run out of gas.<\/p>\n

The fuel light was on when we left for our test drive.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s enough gas for a test drive!\u201d the salesman assured me.<\/p>\n

No, there wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

So part of my first experience with my new van was pushing it uphill into the gas station.\u00a0 I am also impressed with the spirit of my fellow Americans who are always willing to drop what they\u2019re doing and help push the out of gas vehicle into a gas station.\u00a0 I\u2019ve done it on a couple occasions myself, and two complete strangers appeared out of nowhere to help push this heavy truck into the gas station.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn..\u201d my salesman reported, \u201cI left my wallet back at the dealership.\u201d<\/p>\n

What?\u00a0 I\u2019d have to pay for the gas to get this thing back to Chuck Olson?<\/p>\n

My salesman found fifty cents in a pocket somewhere, and those four bits were enough to get the Pontiac started again and back to the dealership.<\/p>\n

\"\"\u201cIn ten years of selling cars,\u201d Scott the salesman told me, \u201cI\u2019ve never had a car run out of gas on a test drive.\u201d\u00a0 I believed him.<\/p>\n

Then I broke the topic of the document fee.\u00a0 See, I thought $999 was a fair price for this beast, but as I\u2019d learned on the Internet, I just had to stand firm on the point that I was NOT going to pay ANY document fee.\u00a0 Period.\u00a0 Otherwise, I walk.<\/p>\n

I learned this tactic after reading a recent article where the State of Washington has recently approved increasing this added fee, none of which, despite the governmental sound, actually goes to the state,\u00a0 It all goes to the dealership.\u00a0 $150 is now the MAXIMUM dealerships are allowed to charge for this fee, something private sellers can\u2019t do.<\/p>\n

Scott explained, \u201cwell, some dealerships charge $200 or $250 for document fees, whereas we\u2019re okay at $150.\u00a0 I\u2019ll talk to my sales manager\u00a0 and see what we can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, Scott, you just lost my respect there.\u00a0 Telling me a boldface lie, one that is so easily disproven with a simple internet search, right when I told you I wanted to buy the car.. Ooooh..\u00a0 Bad idea.\u00a0 They say used car salesmen lie.\u00a0 As an appliance salesman, one who sold a wall oven for more than three times the cost of the car I\u2019m buying from you, I speak to you as a brother: don\u2019t lie.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m e-mailing the link to this blog to my salesman in a couple days\u2026<\/p>\n

In the end, the reduced the price of the vehicle by $100 and charged me a $100 document fee.\u00a0 Whatever.\u00a0 I still got it for less than a grand retail.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy with that.<\/p>\n

The other places I went, well, they had much nicer cars that I could afford if they\u2019d allowed me to make a couple or three payments, but no one finances anyone without a valid drivers\u2019 license, and I\u2019m a month away from that reality.<\/p>\n

This fact, more than anything , explains why I bought my TranSport.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a one-paycheck-vehicle. There were other factors though.
\nI explained recently in a previous blog a trans-consciousness experience I had with Native American culture.\u00a0 There was a sticker on the front windshield of the car when I drove it that said: \"\"\u201cMEMBER: CHOCTAW NATION\u201d.\u00a0 I went back to the dealership later that afternoon and asked them to pull the Carfax for me.\u00a0 It turns out this Pontiac (itself and Indian name) started it\u2019s life in the town of Tecumseh, Michigan.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never heard of Tecumseh, Michigan, but I\u2019d certainly heard of Tecumseh.\u00a0 He was probably the greatest leader of the Native American people at a time when the fate of this continent was in flux.\u00a0 He lead the Native Americans in their fight against the American colonists in the War of 1812. In spite of his indisputable courage, leadership skills and tenacity, he was abandoned by his British allies, and with him died any possible united Indian resistance to White American expansion and domination.<\/p>\n

\"\"This car was previously owned by a Choctaw.\u00a0 It cruised the streets of Tecumseh, Michigan.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been reading a lot of Kathleen and Michael Gear lately.\u00a0 I have no Native American blood in my ancestory,\u00a0 but I have been greatly, profoundly, spiritually influenced by their culture lately.\u00a0 This NDN connection to this Pontiac vehicle seemed like too many Godshots not to buy it. At the end of this video, where I say \u201cOh, they removed it\u201d, I am refering to the Choctaw Nation sticker that was in front windshield.<\/p>\n

I am not Choctaw, so I don\u2019t suppose it\u2019s okay for my car to say I am, but I am grateful to the Choctaw for giving me this vehicle.<\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n

So I have a car, but I can\u2019t drive it.\u00a0 Not for another month.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s when I get my license back.<\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can\u2019t begin to describe the butterflies in my stomach yesterday as I waited for my second bus to take me to the cheap-used-car heart of Aurora Avenue in Shoreline.\u00a0 I had three or four vehicles on my list to look at, but in my heart and mind, one stood out. It was quirky. It […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-69971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69971"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69971\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}