{"id":70635,"date":"2011-11-11T09:48:39","date_gmt":"2011-11-11T14:48:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/70635\/kiss\/"},"modified":"2026-11-01T16:44:53","modified_gmt":"2026-11-01T16:44:53","slug":"kiss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/70635\/kiss\/","title":{"rendered":"The Kiss"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Ah…the kiss……the first kiss…oh ho ho ho…is there a more anticipated exciting and nerve wracking event? One more important? Scene one…baby…and if one can not hold their audience…well…<\/p>\n

Right off the bat (Ah ha hha haaa…”Bat”…I crack myself up!)…let me state that there is never…NEVER…any reason to come at an amour as though one is a Muskie sucking the slime from the bottom of Lake Erie…especially if this is a first kiss! Mon Dieu! Nor is there ever any reason for an amour to feel as though they are being impregnated by an “Alien”…never…EVER!<\/p>\n

From my own…very extensive…personal experience and from the horror stories I have heard throughout my lives…you mortals are in desperate dire need of some serious…serious…serious advice and guidance. So…being the kind and gentle soul that I am…here…is the perfect “Kiss”.<\/p>\n

(Please…take notes if needed.)<\/p>\n

Upon initial contact the mouth should be open no more than 1\/2 inch and keep those tongues at bay…an experienced bomber never drops their full armament on the first pass. Explore the amour’s upper and lower lips utilizing feather soft biting kisses…semi lingering feather soft biting kisses. I recommend gently holding the sides of the amours face with one’s hands while these feather soft biting kisses are being distributed and brush said amour’s ears slowly…I SAID SLOWLY…with one’s thumbs. Do not underestimate the sensuality of caressing their nose with yours during this preliminary interaction and said action should last at least 1 minute or more…I SAID ONE MINUTE OR MORE!<\/p>\n

IF…you are accomplishing the desired effect…and you will know…you can now open your mouth to no more than 1 inch…no one wants their lower face covered by your mouth…it’s awkward…1 INCH!<\/p>\n

Now…tongue action (Le France’ Smoocher) should have mutual ground…you are not going to try and drive your tongue down the amour’s throat (Don’t wiggle it fast…your tongue is not a fishing lure…what the hell is that?!)! The tongues should meet and intertwine half way…a little in both mouths gently playing…I said…A LITTLE…in both mouths! During this stage both participants need to pull against each others breath…we need suction in this kiss. There is nothing worse than thinking one is kissing an empty void…detestable. Suction is the key here and keep that slow…SLOW…biting motion continuing. Sure…sure…one can break now and again and give the amour the old “Kiss On The Jaw” routine…but…keep returning to this kiss.<\/p>\n

And lastly…control your mouth juices! I can not emphasize that enough! None want spit dripping down their chin in the sensuous romantic mooonlight! EVER!!<\/p>\n

Men…if you’re doing this correctly you can easily slip your hand up under your amours blouse and gently…I SAID GENTLY…cup then caress her breast and nipple with your thumb.<\/p>\n

Women…if you are doing this correctly (or even not) you can slowly reach down and gently…GENTLY…cup their…their…*faints*.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is the perfect kiss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,23,6,28,17,10,837,11,840,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-70635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art","category-entertainment","category-friendburst","category-health","category-home","category-life","category-nature-2","category-people","category-religion-2","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70635"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116562,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70635\/revisions\/116562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}