{"id":75329,"date":"2011-12-14T08:32:56","date_gmt":"2011-12-14T13:32:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/75329\/ox-lamb-2\/"},"modified":"2026-11-01T16:44:53","modified_gmt":"2026-11-01T16:44:53","slug":"ox-lamb-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/75329\/ox-lamb-2\/","title":{"rendered":"More On The Ox And Lamb"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Alright…*waves hands in a negating fashion*…for the sake of argument…let’s say The Ox And Lamb could keep time…highly unlikely…but alright…and again I find no documentation that the pair made any sort of audible ~sound~.<\/p>\n

So…in order to keep time they must have been moving something…in the case of The Ox I imagine its tail switching to and fro…much like an upside down metronome…1…2…3…4…2…2…3…4. Alright…ALRIGHT! I will concede that the tail hitting the toughened hide of said Ox…at the end of each stroke…might have made a ~sound~…perhaps s small…”thwack”…but…I am sure it would be no louder than the sound…that I have personally heard…of a horse switching its tail and that would not have enough volume for the keeping of time…but good for keeping flies off his butt.<\/p>\n

Now in the case of The Lamb…Lambs do not have tails with which to switch. Yes…I know they are born with tails…but…we all know damn well they get them hacked off pretty much right away…this practice is called “Docking”…it’s a feces issue. This leaves The Lamb with a flapesque patch and is not prone to switching in a conductive manner…and since said Lambs tail\/patch cannot switch…said tail cannot make an audible sound for the keeping of time…this is indisputable. Alright…ALRIGHT! I suppose The Ox And Lamb both could have clacked a hoof in unison on the ground in a metronomic way…~clack clack clack clack…clack clack clack clack~…but you see…if this would have been the case…The Ox And Lamb would have been considered more dancing than conducting and the song does not say…”The Ox and Lamb danced in time par rumpa pum pum.”…for this reason I dismiss out of hand the notion that The Ox And Lamb could have kept time in any manner whatsoever…not to mention The Ox is much to bulky for dancing…thin ankles you understand.<\/p>\n

Actually…the controversy of The Ox And Lamb is moot! “Why Mr. Tu…why is the controversy of The Ox And Lamb moot?”…I mystically hear you ask…fair enough question…I’ll tell you why.<\/p>\n

I have 54 years of Yule Tide Christmas Joy under my belt…I have viewed more Nativity Scenes than I can count…my family’s Nativity Scene as I grew up…friends home Nativity Scenes…I have viewed Nativity Scenes on television…I have viewed Nativity Scenes in churches and I have viewed Nativity Scenes in all…art…forms…and guess what? There is no :Drummer Boy” in any of them! And why would there be? Think about that…*points to head*…<\/p>\n

…they would have us believe that a small boy in ancient Jerusalem…and at that time they didn’t mess around…one could have gotten a hand lopped off for the smallest infraction…even today…that a small boy wakes in the middle of the night…steals his fahter’s drum…what? Of course it was his father’s drum…you think little boys in ancient Jerusalem were sporting their own drums? Egad…they were eating figs and beetles…his father was probably considered rich for owning just one drum!<\/p>\n

So…he steals his father’s drum…and the sticks…don’t forget the sticks…then makes his way…in the middle of the night…all alone…across ancient Jerusalem. Believe me…a little boy in ancient Jerusalem would not have been wandering around alone in the middle of the night…he would have never been seen again…ancient Jerusalem did not have the societal moral standards that exist today…think Sodom and Gomorrah…the kid would have been toast.<\/p>\n

Alright…*waves hands in a negating fashion*…for the sake of argument…let’s say “The Little Drummer Boy” actually makes it to The Manger in one piece…highly unlikely…but alright. Now he strides up to a group of adults…with a sleeping new born baby…again in the middle of the night…and starts banging on said drum.<\/p>\n

I think at this juncture I should add here that we’ve all heard the song “The Little Drummer Boy”…and in said song a finely tuned snare drum offers a nice…~rat ratta tat tat~…well…I’m pretty sure…there were no finely tuned snare drums in ancient Jerusalem…I don’t think they were even invented yet…so…said drum must have been an ancient type of timpani…stretched goat skin model…leather bindings…and most likely offered a deeply registered…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong~!<\/p>\n

So…the kid strides up…group of adults…sleeping baby…middle of the night…and begins…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong~!<\/p>\n

First…an event of this nature would have startled a dozing Ox which would have begun to bellow and kick in panic and most likely…accidentally…kick The Lamb in the head which would have then fell over dead. Perhaps this activity would produce an appearance of the keeping of time and this scenario does satisfy the prior suggestion of ~sound~…that is…if…”The Little Drummer Boy” had been there…which he wasn’t.<\/p>\n

Second…if the aforementioned scenario had happened you know Joseph would have become unhinged! “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong~…”WE JUST GOT JESUS TO SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE!”…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong~…”WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong~…”SOMEBODY STOP HIM!”…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong~…”HEY…WHERE’D YOU GET THAT DRUM?!”…~Ba Bonga Bong Bong…Ba Bonga Bong Bong~.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alright…*waves hands in a negative fashion*…for the sake of argument…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,14,6,44,10,21,8,11,840,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-family","category-friendburst","category-holidays","category-life","category-literature","category-music","category-people","category-religion-2","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75329","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75329"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116573,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75329\/revisions\/116573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75329"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75329"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}