{"id":75424,"date":"2011-12-15T09:16:36","date_gmt":"2011-12-15T14:16:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/75424\/ga-ga\/"},"modified":"2011-12-15T09:16:36","modified_gmt":"2011-12-15T14:16:36","slug":"ga-ga","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/75424\/ga-ga\/","title":{"rendered":"Gone Ga-Ga"},"content":{"rendered":"

Well, it’s official. \u00a0I suck at social networking.<\/font><\/p>\n

This month just hasn’t been my month for sociability. \u00a0But then last month didn’t do very well either.<\/font><\/p>\n

This batch of treatments has left me tired, jaded, and unenthusiastic.<\/font><\/p>\n

The Jehovah’s Witnesses came by the other day to tell me about how persecuted they were and how the entire world had spent thousands of years trying to destroy The Bible. \u00a0Somehow I managed to remain civil, even though I had a couple thousand milligrams of steroids in my veins.<\/font><\/p>\n

Note to self: \u00a0Learn to embrace your inner curmudgeon.<\/font><\/p>\n

The meth-head neighbors (no, not them, the other ones) came over for the tenth time requesting a jump-off for their truck.<\/font><\/p>\n

Note to meth-heads: \u00a0Less meth, more alternator.<\/font><\/p>\n

Some jackass decided to troop up and down the gully behind my house shooting a shotgun the other day. \u00a0I don’t know if they were murdering my pet yard squirrels or just exercising their American right to piss off Steroid Guy.<\/font><\/p>\n

Note to self: \u00a0Arm squirrels and train them to aim toward the gully.<\/font><\/p>\n

I dreamed I was Lady Ga-Ga last night. \u00a0In the midst of getting ready for doing whatever a Lady Ga-Ga does for a concert, I ran into a snag. \u00a0A member of my entourage had taken to wearing daisy duke shorts with the ass cheeks cut out of them.<\/font><\/p>\n

I was warned that parents and conservatives were going to raise hell over the whole thing. \u00a0I had to decide whether to tell the fellow to quit wearing the shorts and look like a prude (thus destroying my Ga-Ga-ish reputation) or let him continue to wear them and get the hammer from conservative “family” groups.<\/font><\/p>\n

I chose to take a picture of my comrade’s ass and print it on shirts to sell at the concert. \u00a0We called it art to keep the fans happy and raked in profits which immediately deflected any complaints from conservative busy bodies.<\/font><\/p>\n

Why the hell would I dream that?<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Weird and useless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75424\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}