{"id":80336,"date":"2012-01-30T22:11:13","date_gmt":"2012-01-31T03:11:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/80336\/galiant-online-dating\/"},"modified":"2012-01-30T22:11:13","modified_gmt":"2012-01-31T03:11:13","slug":"galiant-online-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/80336\/galiant-online-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"On Being Galiant with Online Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Random, baffling moment from my day.\u00a0 I was paying for a few items at the drugstore.\u00a0 Having a pocket full of coins, my change was exactly one dollar.<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cWould you care for one of the new gold dollar coins?\u201d the gentleman cashier, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Georges Gurdjieff (left), asked me politely.\u00a0 I suppose some might object to being handed legal, but unfamiliar new currency.<\/font><\/p>\n

You know the coins I\u2019m talking about.\u00a0 Like the state quarters, each one is different, each bearing the image of a former US president.<\/font><\/p>\n

I wonder if they\u2019re like baseball cards and those with presidential \u201csuperstars\u201d are worth more than \u201ccommons\u201d?\u00a0 Ooo!\u00a0 A rookie Thomas Jefferson coin!\u00a0 Worth more than a James Buchanon, Polk and William Henry Harrison put together!<\/font><\/p>\n

I digress.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure<\/strong>!\u201d I replied and took the shiny gold coin from his hand.\u00a0 The first of these coins I’ve had in my pocket.<\/p>\n

I was going to put a picture of the coin here, but now I can\u2019t find it.\u00a0 I suppose that\u2019s part of why some people don\u2019t like little round dollars.<\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cAha! A Grover Cleveland!\u201d\u00a0 I declare on first glimpse of the bearded portrait on the \u201cheads\u201d side of the coin. <\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cOh wait\u2026\u201d I pause, looking closely at the name under the embossed head, \u201cit\u2019s a James Garfield.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cHA!<\/strong>\u201d the little old lady in line behind me guffawed. \u201cYOU CAN\u2019T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GROVER CLEVELAND AND A JAMES GARFIELD?\u00a0 HAHAHAHA!<\/strong><\/em>\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

She was genuinely amused by my mistake and derisively condescending\u00a0 in her disbelief.\u00a0 She even patted me on the shoulder whilst continuing to chuckle.<\/font><\/p>\n

What the heck?<\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n


\nOkay sure, Grover Cleveland didn\u2019t have a beard.\u00a0 Cleveland wore a bow tie and had a double chin.\u00a0 He also married a 21 year old girl at age 49 while serving as president. Cleveland was a draft dodger, hiring a surrogate to serve <\/font>for him in the Civil War while Garfield was a hero of the war and was tragically assassinated in office.\u00a0 Fine.\u00a0 They were very different presidents, but honestly, who can tell these days between all these late-19th-Century presidents anyways?<\/font><\/p>\n

I shook my head and left with my bag of paper towels, glycerin soap and Top Ramen, my dignity slightly miffed.<\/font><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Can I say my dignity was \u201cmiffed<\/strong><\/em>\u201d?\u00a0 Is that proper word choice?\u00a0 I watching my DVR recordings today of the Sunday news shows and heard Fred Thompson (insert Law and Order special effect noise here) make up a new word on national television.\u00a0 On Meet the Press, whilst offering support to the Santorum family with the illness of their youngest child, Thompson called Rick a \u201cgaliant warrior\u201c.\u00a0 Very galiant in his fight for conservative values over the years.<\/p>\n

I truly hope the Bela Santorum recovers okay, and I suppose I can\u2019t object to Rick being called a \u201cgaliant\u201d\u2026 as \u201cgaliant\u201d isn\u2018t a word!\u00a0 I guess Fred couldn\u2019t decide between \u201cgallant\u201d and \u201cvaliant\u201d.\u00a0 See 1:18 in the video below.<\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Spent the rest of the afternoon giving the Joko abode a thorough cleaning.\u00a0 Rearranged furniture. Vacuumed up the sunflower seed shells and dust bunnies breeding behind my computer desk.\u00a0 Donned latex gloves and attacked the bathroom mold and mildew.<\/p>\n

I did all this in preparation of a female visitor.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been 6 years since my divorce, and in that time, I haven\u2019t really been actively dating.\u00a0 After decades of neglecting my own goals and desires in deference to my partner\u2019s, these last few years have been me doing what I want to do for me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been way too into me to have room for anyone else.<\/p>\n

Something\u2019s changing.\u00a0 Hard to say what.\u00a0 Maybe the simple fact that one can only deny human instinct for so long.<\/p>\n

In any case, I can\u2019t have a hideously dirty apartment while a first impression might need to be made at any time.\u00a0 It\u2019s like the male bird who spiffs up his nest site before courting the female.<\/p>\n

Now, how to find this date?\u00a0 Aha!\u00a0 The Internet!<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n

Back in my MySpace heyday, I actually managed to use my popularity as a blogger to get laid.\u00a0 Really! Three times!! Girls read my blog and wanted to do me.\u00a0 Those days are long gone now, but their aftereffects are that when it comes to using the internet to satisfy my desire to copulate\u2026err\u2026find a meaningful relationship,\u00a0 I\u2019m comfortable just being myself and letting whatever happens, happen.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to WORK <\/em>for it, do I?\u00a0 Well, the second I work for it, schmooze, be the playah, try to woo women online, well, then I\u2018m no longer being myself and that is something I refuse to do or be.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, as I\u2019m finding out, just setting up a profile on a\u00a0 internet dating site, writing an honest and charming description of myself and posting some pictures, well, that hasn\u2019t worked.\u00a0 My profile doesn\u2019t get any attention.\u00a0 On these sites, the strategy of trying to be attractive fly-paper doesn\u2019t seem to work\u2026 at least not for men.<\/p>\n

So, a couple nights ago, I went ahead and paid the fees that would allow me to e-mail other members.\u00a0 I read the Match.com guidelines for what makes an effective introductory e-mail (personalize your response showing that you actually read the other person\u2019s profile, don\u2019t be long winded and tell your life\u2019s story and pay attention to spelling and typos)<\/font>, found ladies who I liked and seemed to be looking for someone like me and took the plunge.\u00a0 I\u2019ve sent out 7 emails in the last three days, and up until this afternoon, I have not had not a single response.<\/p>\n

Damn.\u00a0 This is worse than having your pickup lines ignored at the bar.\u00a0 Online, I bare myself in my profile, express personalized interest in her and invite judgment.\u00a0 To get no responses, no \u201cwinks\u201d, no e-mails\u2026wow.. It\u2019s humiliating.\u00a0 I use that word in it\u2019s true sense, humiliation means \u201cto-be-made-humble,\u201d and perhaps that\u2019s something I could use more of.\u00a0 That said, all the hot chicks say they\u2019re looking for a \u201cconfident\u201d guy.\u00a0 Well, lady, you ignoring me ain\u2019t making me any more confident!<\/p>\n

Oh, then this afternoon, I got my first \u201cwink\u201d and my first e-mail.<\/span><\/p>\n

The wink was from a Russian lady whose profile had already been deleted by the time I logged on to receive my wink.\u00a0 Great.\u00a0 A Spam Wink.<\/p>\n

My very first e-mail on Match.com was not a response to one of my e-mails.\u00a0 No, instead it was from this young lady here.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Her message was impersonal, made no reference to anything on my profile, making me believe it was just a cut-and-paste job she was sending to who knows how many guys.\u00a0 The message was unreadable with its wordiness and\u00a0 run on sentences.\u00a0 She was as good with punctuation as she was with centering her photograph.\u00a0 Lastly, she wrote about how much she liked \u201cgoing to new resterants<\/strong>\u201d (sic).<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think this is the lady I cleaned my toilet for.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll be writing more here on my blog on the whole dating thing.\u00a0 Given how it\u2019s starting out, it can only get better, right?<\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Random, baffling moment from my day.\u00a0 I was paying for a few items at the drugstore.\u00a0 Having a pocket full of coins, my change was exactly one dollar. \u201cWould you care for one of the new gold dollar coins?\u201d the gentleman cashier, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Georges Gurdjieff (left), asked me politely.\u00a0 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,11,1041],"tags":[1287,81],"class_list":["post-80336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","category-people","category-profile-design","tag-dating","tag-joko"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80336"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80336\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}