{"id":86863,"date":"2012-04-17T04:32:17","date_gmt":"2012-04-17T08:32:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/86863\/great-news-everyone-poopie\/"},"modified":"2012-04-17T04:32:17","modified_gmt":"2012-04-17T08:32:17","slug":"great-news-everyone-poopie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/86863\/great-news-everyone-poopie\/","title":{"rendered":"Great news everyone! I went poopie!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just wanted to stop by and say Hi to everyone that I’ve missed over the last couple of months.<\/font><\/p>\n

It’s been a pretty rough year here at Moosehammer Industries.<\/font><\/p>\n

I had been feeling pretty crappy ever since November of last year, and an unexpected attack of diverticulitis in January put me in the hospital. \u00a0Spent over a month trying to get it to settle down and ended up going in for routine laproscopic surgery to remove a small section of colon.<\/font><\/p>\n

Well, what was going to be a simple procedure turned into an all afternoon ordeal. \u00a0Ended up having sections of both small and large intestine removed. \u00a0Come to find out, I had a perforation at some point in the past that somehow healed itself, but left everything all icky and abcessed in my innards.<\/font><\/p>\n

Everything seems to be healing fairly well now. \u00a0I am officially pooping correctly now. \u00a0It sounds strange, but if I had a dollar for every time someone has asked about my poop this year, I’d be able to buy myself a couple nice new Tshirts.<\/font><\/p>\n

I’ve been informed by various nurses and medical folks that I was very luck to have survived the whole thing. \u00a0Several of them have assured me that this is a sign that God has a purpose for me to fulfill.<\/font><\/p>\n

I’ve always felt like I had a purpose. \u00a0A personal one at least. \u00a0But I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of saying a higher power has saved me for some greater purpose. \u00a0That’s the type of shit I expect to hear from the mouths of fundamentalist presidential candidates and televangelists.<\/font><\/p>\n

Only a twatwaffle of the highest order would dare presume to know the intentions of any God.<\/font><\/p>\n

I’m just glad, and very thankful to be here.<\/font><\/p>\n

On the other hand, this is my second time in two years to spend some quality time in Death’s neighborhood. \u00a0So it has lead me to re-evaluate a few things. \u00a0I find myself leaning toward taking even more chances than I had before.<\/font><\/p>\n

I think I’m going to start doing some video blogs and save my writing for actual books and stuff.<\/font><\/p>\n

I’m sorry for not letting everyone know what was up during my absence. \u00a0It’s been hard for me to get around and get on the computer. \u00a0I also wanted to avoid doing a public announcement. \u00a0I didn’t want to cause a run on Moosehammer voodoo dolls by the neocon blogging community. \u00a0I figured it would be best to keep my mojo unclogged and hex free. \u00a0Ha ha ha!<\/font><\/p>\n

It still takes a bit of effort for me to get at the computer and all, but I hope to be online more as the summer progresses. \u00a0Thanks to everyone that sent me well wishes. \u00a0I’ve missed you all a lot.<\/font><\/p>\n

With luck, I’ll be seeing, posting, and reading you all soon!<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just wanted to stop by and say Hi to everyone that I’ve missed over the last couple of months. It’s been a pretty rough year here at Moosehammer Industries. I had been feeling pretty crappy ever since November of last year, and an unexpected attack of diverticulitis in January put me in the hospital. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-86863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86863"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86863\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/friendburst.com\/blog-new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}