FriendBurst Blog

I’ve already said that maybe I haven’t been as good a friend to anybody as some people have been to me…but it’s still a bit of a mystery as to why I’m feeling abandoned by 98% of my so-called friends…Some people say I’m too negative, *I* say Life is hardly ever a bed of roses…*I* think I’m a realist, ya won’t find me with my head in the clouds–“Everything is beautiful”…I guess that “friend” who told me no one wants to be in a band with me wasn’t kidding–even Lou seems to have drifted away…Is it something I said or did ? I don’t fuckin’ know…Oh well, like I’ve also said before–we come in to this world alone, we go out alone…why not spend the time between alone as well? Maybe people think I’M too “quirky”–I find that a bit insulting frankly…maybe I come off as conceited…Well, I was good at that Music stuff IMO…it’s just possible that some folks were intimidated by my ability (how’s THAT for conceited?) so THEY ran away…Maybe I should know what went wrong, but I don’t…

The album I never got the chance to make would’ve been called BETTER OFF ALONE? because (theoretically) I would have played most of the instruments and sang the vocal parts myself…Laugh if ya want, I coulda done it–if someone else “twiddled the knobs” (engineered/produced) and paid for it…I’m grateful for what I DO have…but I find myself thinking about the way I wanted my Life to go when I was younger–and this ain’t it….and thinking that I’ll never be in any kind of relationship (as in “more than friendship” wink wink nudge nudge) with another woman is very depressing to me as well…although the question automatically comes up–what kind of woman would want me? Certainly a sane woman (apologies to my former wife) wouldn’t be attracted to me…

feeling more alone by the minute…