Barry Kitten’s Funeral
I knew I had to do this. Over this last week, I haven’t really wanted to do it, but I thought it was going to come. When you’re experiencing grief, there’s this balancing act between not wanting to be reminded of your loss because it is too painful and finding that closure through ceremony and remembrance.
That is why we have funerals. This is Barry Kitten’s funeral.
Over this last week, I have not needed any reminders of Barry. In these first few days after his passing, every far away high pitched sound became him meowing. I heard him calling out. When I laid in bed, I physically felt his presence there with me. That first day, watching TV, blanket draped over me, wherein 100% of the times before, Barry would be on my lap, I felt a presence on my legs. Ghost kitteh? A spiritual echo of the kitteh on my psyche? I think my other cat, Bliss, felt it too. She has never been the kind of cat who would come lay on my lap. I got Barry as a kitten just a month or so after Bliss entered my life; she’s about a year older. I got one lap. Barry was the lap kitty. That first day, 6 days ago, as I was struggling with my grief, crying, feeling this absence/presence on my lap, Bliss came from her regular spot next to me on the bed and lay on my lap.
Animals who may not otherwise be overtly affectionate have an amazing ability to pick up on human pain and respond accordingly. To think that some say animals don’t have emotions or empathy. Bliss knew exactly what I needed at that moment and responded accordingly.
You cannot watch the video below and think that Bliss hasn’t lost too. She may not be able to comprehend exactly what has happened, but she knows she is on her own now. She has lost her protector. In my second-to-last Barry video, I showed him squaring off against an aggressive male cat from across the street. Since Barry’s gone, Bliss has had no feline companion to protect her from that bad tom cat from across the way. She’s certainly gotten louder though. Yesterday, she got into it with that brown and whote tabby so loudly that 4 households worth of humans came streaming out of their homes to see what was the matter. Yeah. Bliss can be a loud bitch when she needs to be.
I find it hard for me to break my habit of focusing on the present enough to give a eulogy for Barry. God knows, he deserves a proper one. Playful. Inquisitive. Smart (what other cat do you know that not only could open a window, but figured out how to get around the security measures I installed to thwart him?), loving, protective, loyal, cute, loving… yeah.. There really isn’t any positive cat characteristic possible that Barry didn’t have.
Two or three people have already talked to me about maybe getting another cat. If Barry has anything negative that could be said about him, it is that he has ruined me for other cats. No other cat could possibly stand up to the precedent Barry has set. No other cat could ever be as good as Barry.
Barry was kitty heroin.
I will have other cats in my life, but he set a standard that will be impossible match.
Yeah.
I’m sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute to your cat.
*2 Kudos*
The weird thing about cats and dogs and every once in awhile, even people too, is every time I know for a fact that I’ve seen the best, or the worst, it’s not long after that my standards get another attitude adjustment.
Every minute that you delay finding another little companion for your remaining cat to mother, is another minute wasted, when you know damned well it’s inevitable. I think I can safely say that you are open enough to be able to see something unique in your next member of the household…. no matter what. And the sooner you do it, the sooner you’re likely to save the life of an animal that will be executed otherwise, maybe.
Sorry man…. I’m done trying to make your plans for you, like I had a right to ;). I’m just remembering how I dealt with the same situation in the past… It was with a dog, but the trick is to not wait too long, I think. Good read, Joko.
Hey Joko,
yea, you get used to the animals habits as much as a parent does with their child.
Our Kitty that we had to euthanize for her epilepsy had this habit of sitting in our kitchen window and greet us everytime we came home.
the kitchen was her territory and she would give Lika company as she cooked supper.
She also would play “bat the pencil” every day when I would home school our son.
It takes a while to get used to the absence and you are right. Each animal has a personality of their own.
Every animal has their own unique set of quirks they come to us with, but I know what you mean. With some there is a difference, something extra and they’re the one that we’ll always remember as being “the” pet whether cat or dog or horse or whatever. Farewell Barry.
I can’t imagine life without animals to share it with.
A wonderful tribute. Somehow when my human friend died of colon cancer last year, no one advised me I should get a new friend. Just know you have been in my thoughts.
Well my friend you know my feelings about Barry and his passing.
It appears that I have come to this tribute a bit late as the Video has been already blocked.Crass and crude sobs never amaze me J.,there seem to be so many of those types around lately.Needless to say J.,Barry will be missed.
Keep the faith Bro.
D.
Barry was.. ah jeesh.. one of a kind for sure. I have never seen a cat fetch! Or lick your the stuff offa your hair..or open a window. It sucks that they blocked the video for copyright reasons on behalf of WMG. Who is WMG anyway. NO matter, I remember all the videos of Barry.. He is unforgettable.
hugs Joko..
This is a great tribute, Joko. This video makes a great perpetual memorial. I hope that the burden of grief is letting up on you some. :love:
This was a beautiful tribute to Barry Kitteh. I remember seeing all those videos as they occurred. I’m not even sure if you know it, Joko, but that kitteh changed you. Changed you for the better. And the love the two of you had will NOT die–it will always be there, warming your heart.
I believe in the Rainbow Bridge. At the end of your days, Barry will be there waiting for you. I promise.
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:love:
I have often thought about the fact that as many pets as I had in my life (probably in the hundreds), I loved them all, but there were only a few unforgettable ones. I think Barry will fall in that same category for you. I lost 2 pets to old age in 2010. I miss them horribly, but even so, not as much as I missed Elvira who died in 2000, or Muppet, who disappeared in 1985 or Jakie who died in 2002. Some of our pets are soul mates. We love them all, but the soul mates are few…
I rarely log in to FriendBurst any more. I did today just for you. (((gentle hugs)))
May be helping other cats in his name can help you and I`m sure will help them, take a look.
http://blindcatrescue.com/
A moving funeral my friend.
What a great tribute, Joko!
Sorry about your loss. I’ve “lost” so many cats, I’ve decided not to have another one. It hurts too much… 😥
Joe.
BARRY WAS YOUR CHILD, YOUR COMPANION, THAT ONE THAT UNDERSTOOD YOUR SADNESS YOUR JOY, ITS A WONDERFUL MOURNING YOU GIVE TO BARRY, I UNDERSTAND YOUR LOSS, I LOST MY DOG SGT PEPPER, HE WAS MY FURRY SON, HE HAD BEEN MY SON’S DOG BUT AFTER MY SON DIED, HE BECAME MY CONSTANT COMPANION EVEN SAVING MY LIFE, SO I DO UNDERSTAND YOUR DEEP CONNECTION TO BARRY THOUGH YOU HAVE OTHER WONDERFUL PETS HE WAS MORE HE WAS YOUR CONFIDANT YOU WOULD WISPER THINGS TO NO ONE ELSE HAD HEARD,, BEST PART HE SEEM TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND.. HES WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU BUT REMEMBER HE LIKED TO HAVE FUN SO HAVE FUN FOR HIM. LOVE AND HUGS INKY
Good stuff Joko.
I get it, completely.
My Dear Joko, I lost my Fif in Nov of 2009, after 17 wonderful years, I miss her still every day of my life, I have actually seen her walking towards me, and felt her walking across to me on my bed at night, and even the kneading on my pillow, one of the reasons I think the puppy doesnt sleep with me is that she still comes around, so he’s claimed the sofa. I had her cremated and she’s in an Urn in her favorite sun room, with a fresh flower every couple of days. I love her, and will love her forever, and there maybe another cat, maybe… but for now her memories and my love for her still warms me. I still cry when I speak of her, she was the love of my life.
I am so sorry about your loss Joko, I really am.
I love your tribute. He was a special little dude. You know, I lost my Peanut 16 years ago–she was a pocket poodle and she was my baby I had for 12 years. I still think about her all the time. You never forget the loss, but you always remember all the fun and love, too. Those good times with Barry will stay with you forever, my friend.