FriendBurst Blog

Freaky Witch verses the world

In the last episode, Freaky Witch encountered a rather unpleasant pair of super villains, Country Cunt and Two-faced Twat.

In a galaxy far far away, on the planet WhoreseeFuk, Country Cunt and Two-faced Twat were coming up with yet another twisted scheme. Country Cunt was rather pissed, that her grand attempt to take over the world had failed. She had planned to marry her daughter, Two-faced twat, to what would soon be her new slave boy from Earth. Her plan was to marry them, use the boy for slave labor, and repopulate the world (both WhoreseeFuk and Earth) with their children, she would raise as the new generation of uncompromising christian warriors.

But the boy and his parents were Pagan Earthlings, and his mom was Freaky Witch, a blazing storm of Pagan spitfire. She saw through her schemes and killed them with kindness. Until…..

Meanwhile on planet WhoreseeFuk, Country Cunt was cooking up yet again another diabolical scheme. She and Two-faced twat had just returned from a weekend “Kill everyone who isn’t christian” seminar, and decided that the boy was no longer a viable option, as his blood was tainted. So, they planned to end the relationship between Two-faced Twat and the boy, but not before making it seem as though it was Freaky Witch’s doing. The duo saw to the ground work knowing that Freaky Witch was strong, and would see through the plans of Country Cunt…..so, The plan was to use Two-face Twat to pull it off. Country Cunt knew that Freaky Witch was trying to have a pleasant relationship with Two-face Twat due to the fact that her son was in a relationship with her. It was the perfect plan and they laughed sinisterly.

Miss Creepy madly spins her web above the protection bottle in the widow. She’s walking around the bottle as if patrolling. Freaky Witch watches, as this is usually a sign of something to come, but Miss Creepy has babies now and Freaky Witch dismisses this as protecting the babies.

Freaky Witch never expected what happened next. She was on the phone trying to console Two-faced Twat who was obviously upset about something, when out of the middle of nowhere, Freaky Witch heard the most fowl language and hate directed at her.?. Freaky Witch was so shocked, and approached this with love as she did most things. Even after that the attacks continued. After all day of this, It was Country Cunt’s turn to finish the job. Before it was over, Country Cunt stated that the two could no longer see each other, because Freaky Witch didn’t like it. They had executed their plan, and not taken the responsibility (just like the seminar had taught them).

Now, Freaky Witch was left feeling less than comfortable (ever had that not so fresh feeling?) Could you blame her? How would you feel if you had to battle villains named Country Cunt and Two-face Twat?

So, now Freaky Witch was left with a son with a broken heart. She knows he is strong and has a Pagan spirit that can fight his way through anything… And with a Mom like Freaky Witch and her side kick Miss Creepy he’ll be ok.

😎

***Although this is a satire, somethings in here are based on real life events.

So,to that I say kudos to all the pagan families out there for having the strength to put up with this crap 🙂