SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
What makes one think
After many years have pass
And they have been living with another
They come back to you thinking
That some how you want them to touch you
Let ‘a known talk to them
I mean it had been a long while
From the abuse rape beat ting and all
But hey the pain never ever really goes away
Well be me it doesnt
When ever I think back to when
It was new
It make me start to hate all over again
I know your suppose to forgive
And forget
But I just can not for the life of me
Forgive and are forget
Well I can
But why
It seems to me
If I forgive and forget on my part
That means that he can come back into my life
And thats just where I dont want him to be
I have gone on some what with my life
Without a man
So why should I let him back in
When I know
In my heart and mine
I dont want to
I also know
Your suppose to
Yea forgive and forget
Thats God way
But not mine and I wonder sometimes
If forgivin and for getting get you into heaven
Where does that leave me
Hell bound um sure
And if that is so
Then I say
God bless me cause I aint going that way
Um no Jesus
I will not turn the other cheek
For no man
Woman
Are child for that matter
Cause um still thinkin on my part
If I let him back into my life
Maybe I will have to start all over again loving him
As though nothing had ever happen
Maybe even have sex with him again after this long time of not
Even at this age
I hear people do still do that
Will maybe so
But not me
And sure ally not with this man
Unless
God him self make me to do so
That will be the only way for me
But on the other hand
If I just had to
And are make to
Are for that matter ever wanted to
I sure ally would want it to be with someone else
Just so I woundnt have to think back on what he had done to by life
To make it like it is today
I use to say
I hate to even see he come around
But I have gotten far past that now well
Almost
Now that he comes these days
Saying nice things like
You shoe do look good
Are come here kiss me and are
Just hug me are let me touch your legs they look so good
That just turns my stomach
Make me want to throw up are something
God help me if um wrong
But I would ratter be in hell
Than to let him touch me any where
Even on my clothes
And thats to close for me
I dont want him to ever think
That I want him back
Are that I will take him back in any way shape are form
Living and are dead
Thats just me
And if it takes going to hell
To be rid of him
Then so be it
And God bless the day I die
He dont ever come to my funereal
Pray God um wrong
Written By: Bettie Davis —————————— © April 29 , 2011
Bless your heart ..Scars we have to learn to live with You`re not going to he-hockey sticks:) No, way it is him that did the abuse..I once had this discussion in a class about forgiving and forgetting..I have forgiven but, for several years about 5 to 6 if one was close & raised ones hand quick or just a quick movement I jumped It is not that I cannot forget it is the subconscious Life goes on & that I believe I pray for him with a little shake of the head at times:) & let it be:) I just enjoy sharing love & knowing Love within without my light being put out:):)..in heart Give self a hug feeling warmth within for LoveYouAre~ :love:
This is good to hear your words here this morning make me feel some what better know that I am still love even after all … yea to forgive is one thing but to forget is ever so hard to do … I to feel kinder like you I feel if I ever him back in my life I will have to endure him awful touching me it just makes my skin crawl … Thank you so much for confident that I so needed …. Much Love to you .. :love:
Oh my sister you have made my heart very happy as you but always do .. Your words here makes me feel worthy again … Cause I have pray this pray every night every day sense we have been separated and wonder and still wonder if I had a right at all to feel the way I have had for so many many years … I was as all Physically Mentally Sexually and even told ed I was not even that good in bed when he have had stayed out all night then had the nerve to think that wanted him to touch … well thats in the past now but the feelings are still all but there … Thank you ever so much for your words of some re-leave … Love ya my sister ..
Hey sis, I’ve been seeing these various comments on the stream and finally decided to come into this blog. Yes, God talks about forgiveness, but never does He talk about it at the expense of your feelings. To be abused is to experience as great a loss as losing a loved one. It causes a similar grief, but I think much worse, because, unlike the death of a loved one, the grief occurs continually, because the abuse occurs continually. Therefore, you must grieve, and you will also feel angry and a host of other feelings that accompany such a loss. It is natural and just the way God made you. Then He says, after making you this way that Jesus Christ is not a High Priest (mediator between God and man) that cannot be touched by the feeling of our weaknesses. In other words, He is moved and FEELS our sorrows and weaknesses with us!
You are not going to go to Hell for feeling the way you do. Your feelings are a warning light telling you that you are in danger and need to escape this man. They are a protective devise to cause you to be repulsed by him and flee him!
A true man would protect and cherish you, not this other horrible behavior. You have no obligation to be touched by him. To keep you from giving in to him and letting him touch you, are these feelings you have against him. Accept them, your feelings, as friends that have your best interests in mind!
God be with you, friend.
*2 Kudos*
powerful entry…
“A true man would protect and cherish you, not this other horrible behavior. You have no obligation to be touched by him. To keep you from giving in to him and letting him touch you, are these feelings you have against him. Accept them, your feelings, as friends that have your best interests in mind!”
It can never be said better than that… not that I could imagine, anyway. Staying true to yourself is the only way to go which won’t make you ashamed later on- that’s what I have realized.
Thank you very much for stopping by ta read me and commenting .. That did my heart good you know a kind of feelin relieved know that there is someone out there that can relate and know my feelings .. Your comment means a lot do come again when you like it was nice reading your comment .. Thank you … Hugs
yea this is true bout the address .. And na dont think he will are could do any more than he had already … Be size I think um hurting him by the way um treatin him cold these days … He he he he
I believe they have a place.. then myself.. well.. man.. when flash-backs happen?
what the hell we gotta do.. forgive like … a ton a day? Yeah that’s what we gotta do!
Can the people who are effected-affected by our post-tramatic stress disorder…. then
forgive us? You see it is like.. a rounding chase tail thing.. hopefully we show love?
If we can .. God’s help… yet sometimes in the mist of it we all forget!
This is excellent Bettie .. love that you can be fricken real sis!! :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:
I’m sorry for the bad things that you have gone thru and are now living out the continuation of a different kind of rape and mental abuse by this man. The check needs to be dealt with to eliminate a valid reason for him to come around anymore. That check is a legal reason to come around.If he rapes you again, you will be embarrassed by the obvious question the police will have for you (like…”if he raped and abused you once, why would you continue to let him come around—why didn’t you just return the check to the post office and tell them he does not live at your address anymore)
It sounds like it bothers you that he still comes around and tries to talk you into intimate relations…
Get rid of the checks—tell him in front of a reliable witness not to come around anymore. Throw all his belongings out to the curb and then call the police the next time he shows up. Call the police again and again until they get sick of it and tell you to get an order of protection. All this goes onto a record that can later be used to put this creep in jail where he can rape or be raped all he wants.
You seem like a real nice woman, Bettie, don’t let this man do this mind rape anymore.
I wish you peace and love, Bettie :love:
Thank you first of all for your sympathy here you are so kind … I have not looked at it quite the way that your have put this but as I read I do understand its the mind thing that I can not get around .. Yet I hear you .. And know that what you say is true but still it not that easy thing seein that I now care for my handicapped daughter and all .. But um okay really its just that I needed a reason why all this and you have very much define this to me … I really appreciate you thanks much … LOL
you know sis i dont care how much you forgive someone for what they do,, you can never forget,, and that shadow stays over you makds you cautious even jof the good ones,, its okay to have these feelings,, god loves you always,, he understands your torment and turmoil,, i love that you are such a strong lady for all tahts happen to you,, and im proud to call you freind the mind keeps memories even from the day we are born,, you can forgive,, or let it pass even ignore is exsistance but you still feel its effect if someone has harmed you physically, you flinch when you see someone raise a hand,, if verbally you cringe when someone shouts or gets angry,, and if mentaly you shy away from anyone that might get near you with teh same intentions,, it is never forgotten,,just placed to teh back of your mind.. big love and hugs to my bettie..
“Forgive and forget” is some line an ivory tower, head in the clouds person made up out of their head because it sounded idyllic and romantic. It has been made most popular by abusers to use against their victims very effectively. You see, if they can get you to forgive and forget, they can do what they please to you, with no redress.
The forgiveness God asks of us is not the kind we think it is. Most people think that to forgive means we have to stuff our feelings, so we don’t FEEL the hate, anger and grief any longer. That is going to accomplish nothing but physical, emotional and mental problems, because it is impossible to annihilate feelings. They will INVARIABLY come out in some other form, a form nobody wants to see, including yourself. Some of the ways those lost feelings might manifest themselves are in physical illnesses. That is not GOD’s way, but man’s.
The forgiveness of the Bible does not require getting rid of your feelings, but acknowledging them and giving them to God to care for. He will be very gentle and tender with them. After all, He says, BLESSED are those that mourn, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED! When He asks us to forgive, He is simply telling us to LET GO of the person. Let go of our anger and bitterness towards him, and give the person to God.
That, by all means does NOT mean, that you just let the person do what he wants. It is simply emotionally letting go of the person. If that person is beating you or doing other illegal things, it is your RIGHT to call the police, get them put in jail or whatever is at your disposal to do. It is also within bounds and very much your right to confront the person (if it doesn’t put you in danger!) and/or to leave them, cutting them completely out of your life. An abuser will not handle mercy well, but use it against you. Therefore, you are under NO obligation, no matter what anyone says, to show mercy to them.
God is the one who set authorities in their positions and says they are His servants. Therefore, protect yourself and USE them! That is what they are for, by God’s ordination!
I used beating as an example, but the emotional abuse is just as severe as the beatings and usually escalates to something worse. There is also destruction of your property and pets. You are under NO obligation to stay and endure any of these kinds of abuse. The abuser DOES NOT DESIRE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. They want POWER AND CONTROL. Power and control, no matter what the cost, gives them a rush. DO NOT FEED IT!
Well now I heard this .. Forgive and forget” is some line an ivory tower, head in the clouds person made up out of their head because it sounded idyllic and romantic. And to use these same words against you is so clear as …
Your comment had make lot of sense here ta day and had open my eye to see more clearly …
I thank you yet again for your gracious comments you and the others here had really
really helps me more than you will ever know
Thank you
Love