No Means No – My Solstice Weekend
What an intense, active, Solstice weekend is wrapping up right now. As I’ve noted previously, come this week, I am no longer a full time student and now begin a renewed search for a job to replace the one I lost in April of 2010. In years past, I would have used an excuse like this to indulge in lots of intoxicants; one last party before having to get back down to business.
Not to toot my own recovery horn or anything, but the weekend started off with a particular occasion that I was mildly concerned with as it was at a similar occasion, a cast party, that I forewent my last significant period of sobriety (although in that instance, I was throwing away 3 weeks of being sober as opposed to my current 14 months). At this gathering of the cast and crew of The Miser, alcohol was promised to be a big part of it, and if the old Joko had been there, I would have made it thus. Instead, I learned how non-alcoholics party. Although there was alcohol there in sufficient quantities, nobody got really drunk. In the past, I would never have noticed this as I would have been the one really drunk.
I brought my camera, but didn’t record much. There was only one really video-worthy moment. Our host got really embarrassed regarding his barbequing skills, or lack thereof. He totally burned a few things, including one hamburger which he decided, even though we had many mor uncooked burgers, to eat himself. He explained it as a product of his Jewish-Christian upbringing in that he felt lots of guilt and needed to pay penitence. Consequently, he felt the need to withdraw to the fringes of the party to eat his burger of shame. Had I not also been exiled to the shame-fringes of the party smoking a cigarette, I never would have noticed.
Saturday Morning, I posted a blog showing excerpts from my journey last year to the Fremont Solstice Fair. I also had made plans, having discovered the night before that despite my sobriety, I had negligently left my video camera at the party. Becca and Michael, two people at the party whom I have come to know a little through the theatre scene, were also planning on attending the Solstice Fair. They were a bit late, so I didn’t get the entire parade on vid, but if you caught the version I put on FriendBurst yesterday, you might have been disappointed in its brevity. I realized today that I MUST have mis-edited it because I KNEW there were things I recorded that didn’t end up in that first version. This one has an extra minute of footage…
Good fun celebrating the return of the sun… in the rain.
And after watching the parade, the three of us checked out the Fair. Awesome was the “Art Car” exhibit. Funny enough, an acquaintance of mine thorugh the Seattle ukulele scene was setting up to perform a song with his new band. Witness the Howlin Hobbit and the Snake Suspenderz!
Lastly, let me talk to you about SlutWalk. I only heard about it when a friend said she was going to this in lieu of attending the Solstice Fair, and although this was the first of its kind, I get the feeling this is likely to become a regular event here in Seattle. This town is very receptive of sluts.
Sluts? See, the first point of this demonstration, in it’s very name, is to reclaim power over that word from those who have used it as a label on women to deprive them of certain rights. First and foremost, the right not to be fucked against your will. Recent comments by law enforcement about the clothing of rape victims, in that if they weren’t dressed like sluts, they wouldn’t have been raped, has set off continent-wide demonstrations against this pervasive blame-the-victim attitude.
Anyone and everyone was invited to dress in the sluttiest outfits they could wear and march today to point out one simple and what would seem to be simply evident fact: what a person is wearing does not give anyone license to fuck them against their will. I myself did not understand this anachronistic blame the victim attitude. I did not need convincing, nor was I either a victim nor advocate for this cause. What was I doing at SlutWalk?
Okay, I’ll admit. Seeing a bunch of women marching in scanty clothing held some appeal, but I was also going there to meet a friend (who was ill and didn’t show up in any case). When I heard that there was going to be a counter-demonstration, lead by the Westboro Baptist Church, oooh, I got all excited about the video making possibilities.
Despite my suspicious motives, I was nonetheless moved by what I heard at the rally. It was very powerful to hear people talk about their rape stories. Bikinis do not promote rape. Burkhas do not prevent it. It is a societal problem, but any and all blame MUST fall on the rapists. This “well, dressed like that, she was asking to be raped” crap has got to stop.
Alas, there was no counter-demonstration at all, although the Westboro Baptist Church got mentioned a few times, they didn’t show. Their threat of them being there probably drew more people to come hear the message.
Some very powerful testimonials, great messages and scantily clad people in the video below…
I was still feeling only mildly motivated by all of this until I got home tonight and posted something on Facebook asking my friends for suggestions of songs for the background music. In the debate that followed, I got the response below from a guy who is more often than not overboard in his misogynistic attitudes for comedic affect. If you can think sophisticatedly enough, you’ll realize he is making fun of the male dominant mindset by being so that way that he is mocking himself.
I’ve seen too many people fall into the trap of actually believing what he is saying and being laughed at for their inevitable derision. Yet, here I am deriding him.
No. It is wrong. Joking about rape is all well and good if it is done so over the top that there is no chance that the idiots of the world would mistake you for being serious. Heck, we can hear that in my video above when the advocate sarcastically tells all the rape victims who raised their hands that they actually wanted it. Telling us that saving the whores from being raped is akin to saving piñatas from being beaten, that it is too subtle.
Your humor, sir, has gone too far in it’s subtlety.
I mean, I’ve song songs on my ukulele about raping dead corpses.. But no one would believe I was serious, right?
Ooo…. I just got a text message from my friend at the mortuary. Gotta go.
Good blog! I didn’t see any sluts in the slut walk, but may I point out that the first woman giving her rape story is wearing the wrong sized bra. 8)
Love the videos you post, I watched them all.
No sluts in the slutwalk?? My god… what do these women need to wear to convince you that they want to be fucked?!?
😯 lol no comment.
Hmmmm,
good coverage of the slut walk event, Joko.
When Americans can stop being prudish like the puritans and accept that nudity does NOT equal sex or “wanting” of sex, then we will see progress in curbing rapes myths.
Point blank, a rapist (not the date rapist), seeks women who LOOK weak and helpless.
Its kind of a paradox because it seems their lust for power would be better obtained if the rape delivered more of a challenge.
Date rapists are on a different level of not respecting authority of their date (their right to their own choices for their bodies IS authority over anybody else).
Its never about clothes….seriously.
Joko, wow.
First, are you sure that wasn’t a Marti Gras rather than solstice? And that other band is pretty neat! Sounds like a great show, even without the art or car.
About the slut walk… That’s awesome! It’s funny how a “blame the victim” thing gets through…
I just wanted to share with you a couple things, and this one is ridiculous… A girl is thrown off her cheer squad because she stepped aside from cheering for her rapist, who was the “star” of the basketball team… Like he had any rights after pleading guilty to a lesser crime?
http://www.libertariannews.org/2011/05/17/cheerleader-fined-45000-for-refusing-to-cheer-her-rapist/
The other tidbit is back in college, I helped pass the “Mini-Skirt” Bill here in Wisconsin, to where the attire of a rape victim shall not be used as evidence against the victim in the court of law… Thanks for posting.
OMG, How Horrible.
He ruined some of his Barbecue.
Happy Solstice.
What was the deal with the dentures and partials on that one car?? That was just freakin’ freaky. The slut walk for my area is at the end of July. Way to hot then to be out parading around, but I agree with the message. Sad that there is a need for such a thing. People make stupid comments and judgments about rape, it can’t be helped when they’re dumb. I can just guess who said that on facebook, sounds exactly like an EP comment.
I think that alot of rape victims don’t come forward because they are embarrassed. And saying it was because of the clothes they were wearing is stupid! Rape isn’t about sex, it is about control and power for the rapist. Excellent blog Joko!
This slut thing will never work – the threat and fear of rape is just one of the many ways that patriarchy maintains its stranglehold on not only women but men too. Very entertaining blog :entertained: