Monkey Butts Knocking Over Little Old Ladies
At any job, there are some basic rules specific to the line of work being done. These go beyond the basic get-to-work-on-time, don’t-steal-from-the-company and do-what-the-boss-asks type rules that are universal to all workplaces and directly relate to what the individual is doing.
For example, somewhere in the basic training of Rite-Aid Drug Store cashiera there must be something about not blurting out the names of potentially embarrassing personal care products placed on the counter by a customer to purchase.
Okay, maybe it isn’t specifically mentioned in their training, but it’s just common sense that they shouldn’t say things like:
“Adult Diapers? Are you having leaking problems, Mr Johnson?”
“Massengill Douche? Not feeling fresh?”
“CONDOMS! Woohoo! Congratulations!”
Not doing this would seem to me to be Working-At-A-Drug-Store 101!
See, I still haven’t invested as much as I need to into Moosehammer’s Magical Anti-Chafing Underwear, and today was particularly painful with lots of moving around all day, in a warm store, thighs rubbing together… yes, my uncomfortable chafing problems continue. I decided I would pick up some GoldBond Medicated Powder on my way home to see if a sprinkle on the crotch and in the undies might alleviate my symptoms going forward.
They were sold out of the GoldBond brand, but right next to the empty spot on the shelf was another product which looked to be exactly what I needed.
Yes, Anti-Monkey-Butt powder. That’s a picture of the actual product.
Right now, I am enjoying the cool, soothing dryness of a crotch coated in anti-Monkey Butt powder.
Not without a bit of embarrassment first. Mind you, it is sort of a funny looking package with the cartoon monkey and all, but did the cashier really need to pick it up, smile and inquire of me, “MONKEY BUTT?”
“Yes,” I told her, ashamed, unable to look her in the eye, “Monkey butt. I tell you, it is not fun.”
Maybe I deserved it this afternoon, for this morning, I broke a rule of appliance moving. See, at my new job, I spend almost as much time moving, loading and unloading appliances as I do selling them. I’m part-salesman, part-warehouse worker. That’s just the nature of the job. 
Today, I was bringing a gigantic 26 cubic foot side-by-side fridge out to a customer’s car, and as I was heading down a back aisle coming out of the stockroom, peering over the right side of the fridge to see where I was going, I heard a distressing noise.
“BWAALALLAAHH OOOOHHH!!! BWAAAH!!!”
“STOP!! STOP!! STOP!!” An elderly man yells to me as he comes running down the aisle. I re-balance the fridge on the hand truck and peer around the left side, where my blind spot had been. There, was a little old lady sprawled out on the concrete where I had flattened her with the 300-pound fridge. Damn. Never done THAT before!
I put down the fridge and begin my profuse apologies. The woman is almost crying. OMG.. Have I broken her hip. She gets to her feet, shaken, but otherwise not broken. Still, I call the manager and get him over as quickly as possible to take over. I’ve worked retail for almost 20 years, and although I’ve come close to doing things that might have injured a customer, I’ve never been directly responsible for knocking an old lady to the ground like that.
I felt terrible.
What was the basic rule I broke, but will never do so again? Always walk the really big appliances BACKWARDS on a hand truck. It’s harder, slower and awkward feeling, but as ironic as it may sound, you see a lot better walking backwards than forwards due to the whole blindspot thing. If there’s a little old lady crouching down to get stuff from the bottom shelf, I’ll see her next time.
She ended up not needing any medical treatment, but I may get “written up” for this, but like the lady at Rite-Aid, I forgot a basic training thing about in my job today.
At Walmart we used a guide to help us from running over customers.
and to think. . that could have been me walking with me head in the clouds as usual . . . smiles . . . all I can say, Really? ouch.! and to think. .. U’ll be walking backwards. . . . alwasy said. two steps back and one forward, lets you see the world from a whole different perspective
lolol!! ok…not the old lady part but the rest…well there must be light at the end of the…..shopping cart…
Well thank goodness for the Monkey Butt…… :entertained:
good to see you doing your part to solve Social Security and Medicare
😆 😆 😆
moar unrelated OOOPS(es)
Wow, you still have a Rite-Aid? That is amazing. 😯
I’ve never seen Monkey Butt powder, but I’ve seen Boudreax’s Butt-Paste:
http://www.blairex.com/BLButtPaste.php
I hope the Underarmor is working out for you.
I’m sorry to hear about the little old lady. One time I almost knocked a little old man down with the bathroom door trying to rush to the bathroom in the middle of a cooking rush. So you’re not alone. I know it has a way of eating at you, but you’ll get over it with time. At least you know how to avoid it now and you know to tell anyone you train how to avoid it too.
Another great blog Joko.
So do you have your Rite Aid Rewards card? If you use it with every purchase they keep track of what you spend. After you meet certain thresholds, then you can save a percentage off your entire order. AT first you save 10% off but I do most of my shopping there and now get 20% off my entire order. One of the cashier’s there once told me I get the employee discount. 8)
I’m sorry about what happened with the old lady but at least it was an accident and at least I can almost guarantee you wont let that happen again.
Always enjoy reading about your work related experiences.
Kay
Sorry for you mishap…glad the lady survived being attacked by the frig…things like this happen all the time. In home depot I had an guy(customer…me to a customer) with a lawn edger swing around and hit me in the leg at check out. I started bleeding….he didn’t apologize and no one ask if I needed help! Not even offered a crummy band-aide! The guy was embarrassed and walked away! I just gave them eat shit looks and walked out. SIGH…… :entertained: !
And our local Ace hardware sales monkey butt and butt paste…I haven’t had to use them but heard they work great! 😆