FriendBurst Blog

“Open Eyes Dreaming” by Gyurka

UNSETTLING WITHIN

Within that unsettling silence
that finds me unaware
and unprepared
as it descends
and closes in
upon my heart
in the middle of the night,
eyes wide open
and no rest in sight,
trying to ward off
those uninvited thoughts
tossed aside so long ago,
most largely forgotten
and tucked safely away,
but creeping back
and seeping through the cracks,
as walls and defenses,
once constructed
and assumed to be strong,
begin to crumble again
and threaten
to
tumble
down.

And as they do
begin to fall and sway,
in the darkness that comes
as night replaces the day,
that young girl who sat
in the very last row
as she tried to find a voice
to express what she felt
and what she saw,
emerges through the darkness
long thought gone away,
still feeling quite insignificant
and small,
still searching for those words
trapped deep within
and still so very often
struggling for release.

And within that silence,
so many years removed
from those nagging thoughts
and silent tears that fell,
the insecurities and the doubt
come back to haunt the night,
the feelings of that young girl
who sat upon the fringe of life,
looking but not quite fitting in,
still struggling to keep
that voice since then found,
from retreating back
into that silent place,
dark and alone
and within.

(c) barbara kausteklis 9-23-12

Written for CPC “Simple Sunday Dreams
With Both Eyes and Imagination Open Wide,”
today featuring Gyurka’s “Open Eyes Dreaming.”

http://www.friendburst.com/blog/96693/simple-sunday-dreams-eyes-imagination-open-wide/

Thanks always for your visits and comments
and for encouraging that voice of mine
which has taken so long to find
and which still often struggles
with those same feelings
that haunted that young girl
so long ago.