Diary of a Home Improvement Warehouse Worker (Part 1 of 236)
“Do you sell can crushers?”
“Where are the GFI switches?”
“Excuse me,” the smiling middle-aged woman asked me right after I had dispatched a customer towards a product that I only had a vague idea where it was, “do you have those little pieces that go behind a lighted vanity that make the screws fit better and..ya’know… fit back behind it?” I had no idea what she was talking about. My shift was nearing its end and I still had stuff I wanted to do, and I was on the end of a remarkable string of one customer after another asking for the weirdest, most esoteric things that I had no idea if we sold, much less where they were located. … I was on the verge of grumpiness.
“Okay,” I said slowly, “so this would be part of a vanity?” I knew where those were.
“Here!” she offered helpfully, “my handyman drew a picture of what I want!”
She showed me the picture I have re-created in a jpeg. What the?
“So I’ve got these 6 lights up above the vanity and this piece goes between them and the wall.” Oh great. Now we have lighting involved. This expands the department whatever the heck that thing is in the picture (which she was emphatically pointing to, her smile turning into an impatient scowl) to hardware, lighting, bathroom, fasteners and maybe even home organization.
I just wanted to get back to setting up this new GE Profile French Door refrigerator that I had brought out from the back.
I apologized for not knowing what the hell she was talking about.
I mentioned that I had just finished up with another customer who I was barely able to help. It didn’t help that the guy was a total ass-hole about me not knowing where what he wanted was located. I looked too. I walked up and down each and every aisle in the area where I knew it SHOULD be, but I couldn’t find it. It didn’t help that he was using nomenclature that I didn’t know.
“It should be 14-2 Romex wire with a CEI 23/16 plug on the end!!” He scoffed at me like I was an idiot because I didn’t just take him right to what he was looking for.
Ugh. I’ve sold appliances for most of working life. I can tell you which Microhoods have the best suction, the relative repair histories of refrigerator brands and why, chemically speaking, you should use OxyClean as opposed to chlorine bleach in your new frontload washing machine. And about 2,000 other little bits and pieces of knowledge about appliances. Where to find the never-ending really weird things that the general public expect to find in a home improvement warehouse store that sells 42,000 different items, yeah, that, I’m still an idiot.
I’ve always been a little proud of how much I know. Certainly I can say that I use my knowledge to my advantage as a salesman. That and my bubbly, helpful personality is what sets me apart from the salesman down the road. See, I understand that the kind of knowledge I need I need will come with time, but until that comes about, I need to learn how to be an idiot tactfully.
How does one get to be smartly stupid? Or stupidly smart?
Just don’t ask me where to find clips to hang your lighted, bifolded, hydraulic doors.
OxyClean….ohhhhhhhhh nozzzzzzzzzzz J……..not the Bille Mays Video again………
Hey I strongly suggest against that action….you know
Just recently I thought I heard of a Billie Mays cult forming in Bute Montana
Just saying J…..
B careful
:entertained:
I would think they would be in lighting, but they could be in Fasteners.
Isn’t working with the public fun?? Not the haha kind of fun, but I’m going to pull my hair out kind of fun? My best guess on that picture would be some kind of flange or maybe even an anchor?
The thingamajig is right next to the whatchamacallit.
My sympathies
. . . . Oh dear. . I have never walked into Lowe’s or Homedepot or much of any else (seldom I go there) always walk up to the first salesperson I see and ask. . (can’t see far ’nuff to read the overheads). . so tell them you’re new on the job. . and send them to the depar.. . . oops, aint got that down pat yet either. . . ya sauve and debonaire nature will surely you well in days to come and U’ll be on top of it. . and look at the learning curve . . what an opportunity to hone your talents one. . have fun.
Hang in there! I’m always amazed when someone at Home Depot can point me in the right direction. It takes time to get to know where things are, just be cheerful as you can be.
Lol – Funny blog… I feel for you with the customer descriptions. Just smile & nod politely while responding with “Si Senor”… Oh wait – you’re not in Cali anymore – Nevermind!! 😛
Sounds and looks like she’s describing a low profile threaded insert or a T-nut. You use them to insert into a wallowed out hole in wood or drywall. Roscoe has it right. You find them in fasteners…
Wait until you get a stutterer or mumbler. I used to harass best buy “experts” by stuterring, mumbling or both. Mainly the guys, but once in a while I would quickly ‘trade off’ and ask for a haughty assistant manager. 😈
I don’t envy you ever running into a youtube prankster mumbler/stumbler!!(hehe)
In a warehouse store if you don’t have experience with the assorted, myriad items in a department you’ll always be fumbling to a point. And you can’t have a level of insider experience in every department.
it’s not if you can direct them to the correct what…it will almost always be directing them to the correct who