You Want Me To Wear High-Heeled Bifocals?
I got this e-mail from the director of the new play that I’m in:
I’m thinking Frosine would wear high-heeled shoes and would be very comfortable in them. In order for that to work, you may have to wear high-heeled shoes for all or most rehearsals. Is that do-able if we get high-heeled shoes that fit you? What’s your shoe size?
My reply:
At 6 feet tall, I think I’m the tallest member of the cast. The other principles in the scenes I am in are between 6 inches to a full foot shorter than me. You’re the director, you can decide on the costuming, but are you sure about this?
Size 12 E. Men’s. Good luck finding heels in that size.
Oh Jesus Christ. I thought that in taking the female role of Frosine in this play (Moliere’s The Miser), I wouldn’t have to deal with the whole costuming thing until dress rehearsals. I mean, come on. How hard could it possibly be to wear heels? Do they really require “practice”?
And if they are that difficult, what if I turn an ankle or worse during rehearsals?
One thing I am learning as we start our rehearsals is that doing the falsetto, Monty Python-esque HELLLLOOOO!!! exaggerated Mrs Doubtfire female voice is really rough on the vocal chords. After the first act, my voice is shot doing that character, so during rehearsal, I am using normal voice… Then again, maybe I should camp it up even more a la Harvey Fierstein and be all smoky and crackly for effect.
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I’m experiencing some instant karma that comes out of the last music video I made. At some point during the recording of that video, I took off my eye glasses because well… I don’t need them THAT much and they reflect in bright lighting… and I think I look better without them. It’s a bit of vanity, I’ll admit.
That was Sunday. I haven’t seen them since. I’ve looked everywhere! In my 500 square foot apartment, there’s really not that many places they could be! I know when I’ll find them too: the minute my new glasses arrive. A friend told me about this deal at a nearby optometrist of $69 for TWO pairs of glasses WITH a free eye exam. What a bargain!
I knew it was time for a new eye exam anyways. Lately, when I want to read something, I couldn’t really see it that well with my glasses on (which I need to see distances). So I’d take them off. Uh oh, do I need bifocals? I found my very first grey hair on my head just this last weekend. That and needing bifocals in the same week would be doubly dubious signs of my advancing age.
I explained the situation to my optometrist and after he tested my eyes, he told me he could provide more expensive bifocals, but the lower part would not have any type of corrective lens… or I could just take my glasses off to read. See, I don’t need anything to read better… yet… I just can’t see things up close while wearing my glasses. I went with the just take off my glasses option.
Now, I just have a go 7 to 10 days without being able to see the whiteboard at school and have a vague headache all the freekin time.
I don’t want to have to live through ankle pain at the same time.
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150 years ago today, the Civil War began.
Three years ago today, I posted my favorite “random clip” video… THE HAMSTER DANCE!!
You keep invoking the Hamsters of doom,cute lil cuddly demons from hell itself and finding size 12 CFM Pumps will be the least of your worries J.
Trust me Lemurs learned of the evil nature of these creatures long ago….. 😈 😈 😈
Never the less good luck with this….hope this fits…..
This has nothing to do with the topic of this blog, but I just noticed Vic on Dashboard blog comment screen, and since I made this very late last night, I wanted to share it again…
If your heels that must wear are like this ones … you will need practice.
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Sorry bout the eyes,but if it’s any comfort you have some very nice natural eyelashes
http://www.bananashoes.com/3-Inch-High-Heels-Shoes/ (have bigger sizes)
hahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhhahhahahahhah Fricken ha! OMG!
oh boy …your gonna need a lot of practice with the heels. I stopped wearing them..n a couple years after that, I couldnt stand without wobblin. If I was you, Id wear slippers er somethin.. I cant wait to see you in your get up. Make sure you do a video of that when the time comes.
Mornin Joko!
I find any height of high heel is so much easier with a walker. Nor has that hindered my walking about dramatically.
Oh man, I feel sorry for you Joko. Nobody should have to wear heels. Maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll only have to be an inch or under. Any more than that and you will need some practice walking in them. You’ll probably need a women’s size 14 if I remember the conversion right. I extend you a sincere Good Luck.
Have you looked in the Refrigerator. The last time I lost my glasses they were in the Refrigerator. It took me days to find them.
Whoah. Looking now.
Nope.
He wears them
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David Bowie wore them
But what about that beard and mustache? 😆
High heels always makes a person like they are leaning over especially if they have 4 to 6 inch Stiletto heel…
Keep looking! Check he trash before you empty it. Bathroom?
Your father takes his glasses off to read and do most close things. He has bifocals, but doesn’t wear them when he is relaxing with a book.
We often have to look for them in the morning. The best thing to do if you do start to take them off is designate a place you ALWAYS put them. I do this with my keys and almost never loose them. almost 😉
These are all good tips, and I appreciate them.
Sometimes though, when I am in the midst of a creative project of the scope of my last one, I get this sort of mania wherein all I can focus in is what I’m doing…
lol! Trust me–they make women’s shoes that will fit you. In LA there were places that specialized in female acccesories for men…maybe they have some of those up in Washington.
You should have someone tape the show, then post it on youtube. I wanna see it for one!
See if you can get something with a wider heel. The narrower the heel, the harder it is to balance. I feel for ya.
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Feel free to delete this if it is too huge. Supposed a 17th century woman’s shoe.