FriendBurst Blog

Last night, I charted out my bus route and it wasn’t going to be too arduous.  Ride my bike from home about a quarter mile, one bus, and then about 3/4th’s of a mile at the other end of the line.  There were other routes I could have taken that weren’t going to require as much bike riding, but I’d enjoy the early morning exercise.

I found it hard to get to sleep last night, and then when I did drift off, it was in fits and starts, interrupted by vivid dreams produced by my new-job anxiety.  The strangest  had to be the one where I found myself working in the new department, and all of my co-workers were permutations of Milton from the movie “Office Space.”  Remember him?  The soda-bottle thick glasses, the disheveled hair, so proud of his stapler.

I set my alarm clock to 6:10 AM in order to make sure I had plenty of time to get ready and make that first quarter-mile leg to catch an 8:05 bus.  At 5:30 AM, I awoke, and since the sun rises so early at this time of the year, the sunlight in my room sent me into a panic thinking that the alarm had not gone off and I had overslept!  Ack!  There would be nothing worse in my mind than showing up late to my first day of work.  That would be terrible.  That 8:05 AM bus would get me to the longer ending bike ride at :8:40 with 20 minutes to make that 3/4th of a mile.

This was too close of a margin for my comfort.  I usually show up early to things as a matter of course.  I decided since I had given myself so much time, I would catch the 7:35 bus and be half an hour early just to be safe.

The morning air was fresh and the birds were singing as I ventured forth from home, beginning my new job and a new life.  I hadn’t gone two blocks before I hit my first snafu.  My bike was having a problem, but it was one I had anticipated and was prepared for!

See, a couple months ago, the nut that holds the left crank arm to the crankbolt (see diagram) came loose on its own accord and fell off.  I lost the nut entirely.  Fortunately, this happened half a block from my regular bike shop, and they put a new nut on for me, tightened it good and didn’t even charge me.  About two weeks ago, the same thing happened!  The nut loosened itself, fell off and disappeared.  I bought a nut this time, and a buddy of mine who also happens to be a motorcycle mechanic added some quick-tite to the bolt and we tightened the nut with his air-powered tools.  I thought it was on there really good this time.

Yesterday, I noticed a weird play in the crank arm when I was pedaling that I recognized as a sign that the nut was coming loose again.  When I got home, I dug out my socket set, tightened the nut and made sure that I had that tool with me when I went out this morning so I could re-tighten it if needed.  As I said, I only made it two blocks before I had to get off and tighten the nut.  Most of that first quarter mile was downhill, and as I wasn’t pedaling, the nut stayed on a dozen blocks or so.  When I felt that wobble in the crank arm and I stopped again, the nut was gone!  Shoot!  Well, I had plenty of time, so I backtracked on foot, looking for this precious fastener.  I found it relatively quickly, got the bike working again and only had to stop one more time before I made it to the transit center.

What a hassle!

I was relaxing, reading my book as the city bus made it’s way up an urban expressway.  All this effort had me a little sweaty even though it was overcast and about 60 degrees.

The bus driver slammed on his brakes!  I almost dropped my book.  My fellow passengers went lurching all over the place.  The poor woman who was sitting in the seat without another in front of it was thrown to the ground and her cell phone went flying into the air as we heard a loud CRASH!!  Looking out the front window, the small hatchback we had just hit was a third of the way into the intersection.  The light was green.  It’s rear bumper was dangling and the entire backside of the car was a mess.  We had just rear-ended a vehicle that was stopped in the turn lane at a green light.

“YOU STUPID…!!” the bus driver exclaimed, not finishing the insult he was hurling at the driver of the car we’d just struck.  From then on it, it was all pretty professional.  The paramedics came to check out the lady who got thrown to the aisles of the bus.  One lady seemingly suddenly decided she had neck pain when the authorities got there.  We all had to fill out little incident cards, and get off the completely undamaged bus.  Wait.. The reason the bus wasn’t damaged was because it hit the car with the fold-down heavy-duty bike rack in the down position… with my bike on it!  OMG!  Was my bike okay?

It was.  I counted myself lucky that I taken the earlier bus. Nevermind that if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have been in the accident at all.  The next bus was the one I was going to take in the first place.

Then I noticed where this had all taken place.  I knew this corner.  This was the corner one and half blocks from a place where my life changed forever.  This corner was the starting point of that short, fateful journey after which I decided to stop drinking.  There, as I waited to get on a bus that would take me to a new life, right across the street from me, was the last bar I was ever in. That bar was where my old life ended.

It started to rain.  Hey, wait a minute! I didn’t even bring a jacket!  It was supposed to be nice out today!

We get to the other end of the line without incident, although every time the bus decelerated quickly, my heart skipped a beat thinking it was happening again.

It’s 8:32 AM.  I’ve got 28 minutes to make it to my destination. I tighten the nut holding on the crank arm again and am off.  I don’t even make it to the light on the corner before the wobble is back and I have to stop and re-tighten.  Then, I make it about 200 feet before I have to repeat the procedure.  Then 100 feet.  This is getting ridiculous and very frustrating.  Oh great.  I look ahead and see that the majority of the rest of the way is uphill.  It’s starting to rain even harder.  I am getting soaked.  Another 100 feet.  Stop.  Re-tighten.  Again and again.  It’s 8:50 AM.  Will I make it?  I can see the corner where the store is located as I finally catch up to someone whom I noticed had left the bus station at the same time I had.  He was on foot.

I feel that wobble of the crank arm, but I’m not stopping!  I need to be on time!!  At the edge of the store’s parking lot, the crank arm completely comes loose.  Shit.  Where the heck is that nut?  I am going to need it.  I backtrack again and fortunately find it again.  I put the nut in my pocket and walk my bike to look for a place to lock it up.  Finding a place, I look down and see that crank arm is now gone.  The arm itself fell off somewhere in the parking lot.  It takes me 5 minutes to find it back up near the parking lot’s entrance.

Disheveled, sopping wet and very frustrated, I make my first appearance in an official capacity with my new employer.  I carried the crank arm in with me as a prop to explain why I was showing up at my 9:00 AM orientation at 9:10 AM.

The HR manager explains that we were just going around the table introducing ourselves and if it’s now my turn.  I emphatically tell the room most of the story above, including the bus accident and the stop and start journey in the rain from the bus station.

“Well,” the HR manager notes, “in all the years I’ve been running these orientations, that has to be the best introduction I have EVER heard!”