5 Ways to Prevent Overreacting
Perhaps it was meant as a helpful suggestion. Maybe it was intended as a straight-up accusation or invitation to argue.
Perhaps it was meant as a helpful suggestion. Maybe it was intended as a straight-up accusation or invitation to argue.
Unchecked anger is a tragic, defensive emotion. Its a sign that something is seriously wrong in our relationships with people we love. It often occurs when we feel threatened, hurt or ignored.
Most people have relationships in their past that didn’t work. Many people have one such relationship that is very hard to let go of.
The 79th verse of the Tao Te Ching, which has been especially helpful to me personally, can be called “Living Without Resentment.” We’re asked to change the way we hold resentments following a difference of opinion or an outright quarrel. Now what causes annoyance and anger after a dispute? The generic response would be a laundry list that detailed why the other person was wrong and how illogically and unreasonably they behaved…
To the body, fear is a danger signal. The body doesn’t stop to examine whether or not the danger is real, or explore how it should respond to the possible danger. As far as it is concerned, there is a potential emergency, and for its own safety it automatically prepares itself for instant action. Heart rate quickens, blood pressure rises, breathing increases, muscles become tense, the skin begins to sweat, while digestion, reproduction, and other processes that will not be needed for the moment are turned down.
When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with.
You hear people say this all the time: “I have a right to be upset because of the way I’ve been treated. I have a right to be angry, hurt, depressed, sad, and resentful.” Learning to avoid this kind of thinking is one of my secrets for living a life of inner peace, success, and happiness. Anytime you’re filled with resentment, you’re turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate.
Imagine yourself again in the middle of the ocean, but this time there’s no boat, no island, and no one to help you. You’re drowning out there all by yourself. You’re exhausted and terrified. Suddenly, a man grabs you from behind and drags you under the water. Completely overwhelmed by fear and anger, you struggle wildly to get free, but no matter what you do, your head remains underwater.
Life isn’t always fair. As a result, you get angry and frustrated – sometimes very quickly.
However, after you’ve completely vented, you suddenly wish you could have had some degree of control over your emotions. Quite understandable in retrospect.